for the future me

because i'm officially sick and resting at home. gosh..the worst part is i don't even know the cause of my multiple discomforts, and the doctor said they did not cause each other. i have (in order of appearance) a cold spell, nausea, stomach bloat, vomitting (self-induced. i had to. the bloating was killing me literally as i looked and felt like a corpse undergoing decomposition), full body ache, fever, stomach ache, stomach wind and possibly constipation. the doc could only diagnose a few...the indigestion aka nausea + stomach bloat + vomitting was probably caused by my lunch, full body ache + fever by a mosquito bite (i've fully recovered from that, thank goodness), and...that's it. as the other symptoms only surfaced after the first dose of meds. while i would usually die for 2 days' rest from work, these past few days have been unusually uneasy to get by. note to self: will not take unethical MCs in the future.

with reference to the title, who doesn't cry while watching a movie like that?? i only watch soppy jap dramas/movies, cos they only make soppy or crappy content..so, i took my pick. i think i've cried at much more ridiculous moments than that, such as...cartoons? and comedies. my threshold is really low. and i have soft spots for children, bears, dogs, partings, death, etc...

so anyway, i'm bored (and) stiff at home, and that could really serve as some motivation and deterrence at work should the thought of taking a day off pop up in my head again..

ラベル: spontaneous rant

of the great, vast emptiness

these few days have left me feeling rather empty. lazing around, surfing net aimlessly, waiting for stuff to happen from 9 to 6, working OT in a nearly empty office, having mediocre takeaways at home, stoning and watching drama on comp, sleep. repeat for the next 3 days. can't help wondering what else i want to do with my life. what happened to my dreams?

even on the train, the constant escape from reality by sleeping, listening to music etc in a bid to block out the world has finally caught up with me. few months ago, i'd acty bothered to convert videos and upload to my phone, bought books to read, rushed to grab free papers (they knock off really early)...but in the end, i still admit to myself that i didn't feel bored...i felt empty. there was nothing to look fwd to at work, or after work.

to me, it's terrible to have nothing to do or think about. it drains me to have to try and find things to do to kill time. i feel like i'm in the wrong place, at the wrong time. maybe, it's time for a change of environment. and to add in my missing life, one at a time..

macbook! tmr :)

ラベル: innermost feeling, spontaneous rant