for the future me

sigh. after seeing so many bj stuff on spectrum, i really can't tell what is wrong with mine. like, after all those criticisms and faults, other ppl still got in. i sound really sour rite, but that's the truth. isn't a good bj piece supposed to form qns in the viewer's head, then answer them, then form agn..etc etc? like, every piece i see is sooo different, and i can't fix a format or formula to it. so what does it actually take to be on spectrum?? oliver's judgment, and only that?? much as it seems as the possibility least likely, is he biased against us? i really dunno anymore!

haiz..maybe it's hard to convince upright ppl to tell stories for the camera, but seriously, isn't that what the media is abt? how many of the stories that made it on tv out there made it because they were the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? almost none. they would have to be angled, exaggerated, sensationalised or fabricated in some way, if not they wouldn't have been interesting enough to be on tv. but i can be too skeptical at times. there ought to be righteous news people and directors out there..just a matter of how much time they take to produce their 100% true story.

rahhh. i ought to have known that oliver wasn't lying when he said he will make our lives miserable for the next 13 wks. i can't work out what's wrong with 221..what's different abt 221 from the rest. i procrastinate, i am half-hearted for some assignments and i rely on my group members. i do that for every module! and i have turned out fine! things worked themselves out! but WHAT IS WRONG WITH BLOODY 221??? i admit i have the wrong attitude, but my wrong attitudes lasted me for almost half my uni life. it's wrong, but it works! okay! RAHHH.

i'm fine. i'm not angry at myself, or oliver, or any 221 ppl, or even anyone. just pissed off with why things had to turn out so badly. i hate this sem. T_T

ラベル: innermost feeling, spontaneous rant