for the future me

hmm, it's 10/03's american bday tdy. i wonder if anyone else rmbed. sigh, anyway. life pretty much sucks. i try to give and take as much as i can, to the extent that i feel ridiculous sometimes..yet it always feels i'm on the losing end. it's the same with everything in life. i haven't really eaten my mum's cooking in like..months? and some things have been lost forever..and i can't be bothered to get them back anymore. cos what's the point. they will just drift away agn. i won't be able to finish that cross stitch. cos that motivation is lost and it won't come back..at least not for a long time. superficiality is the word of varsity life. all the shit abt life can't be better is, well, really shit. i just want to give everything. and everyone. up. to have some time for myself? i sometimes wonder why i go home on wkends..do i even get to see my family? they're all busy with their own stuff. and i lug my stuff every wk for what? nothing's washed or replaced. nothing's the same anymore. time blands everything. sparks fizzle. banners get teared down. ppl neglect greetings. the world is deaf. but stains will never go away. such is the irritatingness of life. with the invention of dinner. i hate uni.

ラベル: spontaneous rant