for the future me

i wonder if i keep chging blogs to reduce readership. or if i'm just plain fickle-minded. but why, that's not a taurean at all! zz.

oh well..it's not only exams that i dread..now that it's the hols, there comes a whole new lot of things that i would choose not to face..all to do with ppl. sometimes, it would be so much easier if ppl would just say out straight, what they're really thinking. why is there so much speculation?? i pride myself on being quite accurate with reading ppl. and when it comes to some ppl, i wish it weren't true. all that reluctance, and all that procrastination..is what i think really what it is? but sometimes, i care too much to be angry..though it's not very obvious. i guess some ppl just have more commitments than others..

with a rough calculation, i've attended close to twenty 21st bday parties this yr..i've spent like close to $500 on presents alone..what an expensive yr..well we all feel it..but it's not that i mind..bday parties = gatherings and gatherings = bonding. so.. (:

ay..sang xl's song in kbox tdy..and cos that made me think of xl, i was reminded of sthg i read in a blog regarding the death of a guy from aj..that the coffin looked so small for him. amazingly..that was the exact same thought i had with xl..how could he have fit in..but well..the truth doesn't sink in unless we keep on being reminded..and the concept of death just doesn't quite register at the wake yet. i rmb i was so shocked that ppl are talking and laughing at the table, like it's a typical gathering place..but now i think abt it..i guess we all can't register the fact yet that we were there cos a fren had passed away..too sudden..

ok..a rather abrupt change of mood there i realised..oh well..nothing much has been happening..sad to say..but i foresee a wk of outings either next or next next wk..a torrent of outings..and spendings...noooooo..

ラベル: innermost feeling, spontaneous rant