i❤pink+grey

I got my flat!

2011-09-25T22:22:00.002+08:00

Seriously, with our queue number, and we still got a 9th floor unit, it's quite a miracle!

So here I want to thank all the people whose queue numbers were before me, who
1) were late,
2) did not turn up,
3) dropped out,
4) switched to the Sep launch,
5) chose Fernvale,
6) chose units lower than mine

and most importantly HDB, for launching the Sep bumper flats just before my booking!! There must have been a buzz of people who gave this up and went after those :)

Yeah~~~ quite cool that we got a good grant too! it's even more than the downpayment...hehe.

So come visit me at Anchorvale Isles in 2014!! Only 8mins from the MRT! ^^

Marriage

2011-09-12T20:36:00.002+08:00

Used to think it's such a far and scary thought...but now it's not so far and not so scary anymore. it's actually just like any other commitment. A pet, a job, a religion even. If you can hang in there and put in time and effort for all these, why not a marriage? the only difference, i guess, is that people don't judge you as much if you give up..let's say..your pet..

Unknowingly, I've become one of those disrupted the "proper" chronological order and got a flat before any of the real marriage stuff. So Singaporean :( and so unromantic. And well, it's because of this that I've started to fantasize alot more about the decor of my house :) typical girl~ i still want my lala land-y stuff like my swing and walk-in wardrobe..can i have swings in my living room instead of sofa? :D

I've also started wondering why people don't take wedding shots at night with, say, the marina bayfront as backdrop. Taking photos at night so good...less imperfections captured, not as hot, don't need to pile on the powder every half hour, etc etc. plus it's special. oh well..mental note to self: wedding shoot must have some night shots.

well, most importantly, marriage is about the person you're going thru it with. you have to accept him as you know him, and not define him in the way others expect him to.

Towards an unknown future

2011-06-13T00:16:00.004+08:00

Gosh, it's been more than a year. I suppose there never really was something inspiring enough in my life to be worth penning down. But anyway, now I do!

I'm finally, after two years in the life-sucking vortex of a place called my company, leaving for an unknown future. I've said this many times.."anywhere is better than here", but after talking to people, I realised that's what everyone else says too!

These past two years are, put plainly, a void in my life. No one should have to experience that. I feel like I haven't learnt anything that I couldn't figure out myself. These two years felt like an eternity at some point. Really, the management could use some waking up and welcome some change in management style.

Enough about the soon-to-be past. The thing about the unknown future is...you tend to worry. And this is something I've tried to hard to stop myself from doing. Honestly I think it's the culture in my house. But that's another story. These few months I've just sorta let things be and just put in my best, and I think the results are pretty fabulous! Quite amazing actually, to have found the way to life in such a simple form.

Really gonna miss the folks there (though a good half are already not around, good for them!)...they really are the nicest ppl in the world. The fun and laughter, the bond, the lunches, the nonsense, the random odd jobs we endured together, and not to forget...the monthly pigouts...really gonna miss that. Hope they find a good escape route!

I'll try not to cry on my last day.

食物链

2010-04-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

真没想到一个错综复杂的感情食物链会活生生地搬演在我面前。。哈哈。。尤其是才刚刚看了两集的康熙食物链。。难道人越老，感情生活也会跟着越来越复杂吗？有点惊讶的是。。也牵连到太多人了吧！唉。。但我也了解。。这都是不由自主的。。也不是旁人能帮上忙的。。我也只能祝各位早日化解这些烦恼，早日恢复以前单纯快乐的日子吧。以后的事谁也说不上，有时随缘也不错＝）反正将来发生什么，没发生什么，就大方地接受，应该是最好的办法了吧。至少。。我是这样面对我的人生的。。强求往往没什么好结果。哈哈，好不要脸啊，说得好像真的有什么轰轰烈烈的事等着我去强求。。

我想我累了。。开始废话了。。我也该去睡了。。等待明天再变成一条虫咯～

Life and How to Survive It

2010-04-20T23:15:00.003+08:00

This is delivered by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988). He was the guest-of-honour at an NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
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I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

i'm (creating) content

2010-03-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

my brain has not experienced that high a traffic in a long time. i need to escape somewhere, cut myself off from all means of communication, and not be consciously awake most of the time. i'm sure this ruffled, reckless person isn't the real me. it's just the biochemical agents called hormones that mess me up once a month that are making me like that. that must be it. there's no other explanation. i must stop myself from thinking ridiculous thoughts and doing regrettable acts. yes, i need more things going on in my life to distract myself. (new episode of gossip girl!) and also, know that storylines in drama do not happen in real life and pull myself out of lalaland.

i am not alice. impossibles will remain as they are.

just finished watching 10 promises to my dog...

2009-12-16T13:46:00.002+08:00

because i'm officially sick and resting at home. gosh..the worst part is i don't even know the cause of my multiple discomforts, and the doctor said they did not cause each other. i have (in order of appearance) a cold spell, nausea, stomach bloat, vomitting (self-induced. i had to. the bloating was killing me literally as i looked and felt like a corpse undergoing decomposition), full body ache, fever, stomach ache, stomach wind and possibly constipation. the doc could only diagnose a few...the indigestion aka nausea + stomach bloat + vomitting was probably caused by my lunch, full body ache + fever by a mosquito bite (i've fully recovered from that, thank goodness), and...that's it. as the other symptoms only surfaced after the first dose of meds. while i would usually die for 2 days' rest from work, these past few days have been unusually uneasy to get by. note to self: will not take unethical MCs in the future.

with reference to the title, who doesn't cry while watching a movie like that?? i only watch soppy jap dramas/movies, cos they only make soppy or crappy content..so, i took my pick. i think i've cried at much more ridiculous moments than that, such as...cartoons? and comedies. my threshold is really low. and i have soft spots for children, bears, dogs, partings, death, etc...

so anyway, i'm bored (and) stiff at home, and that could really serve as some motivation and deterrence at work should the thought of taking a day off pop up in my head again..

of the great, vast emptiness

2009-12-03T20:25:00.003+08:00

these few days have left me feeling rather empty. lazing around, surfing net aimlessly, waiting for stuff to happen from 9 to 6, working OT in a nearly empty office, having mediocre takeaways at home, stoning and watching drama on comp, sleep. repeat for the next 3 days. can't help wondering what else i want to do with my life. what happened to my dreams?

even on the train, the constant escape from reality by sleeping, listening to music etc in a bid to block out the world has finally caught up with me. few months ago, i'd acty bothered to convert videos and upload to my phone, bought books to read, rushed to grab free papers (they knock off really early)...but in the end, i still admit to myself that i didn't feel bored...i felt empty. there was nothing to look fwd to at work, or after work.

to me, it's terrible to have nothing to do or think about. it drains me to have to try and find things to do to kill time. i feel like i'm in the wrong place, at the wrong time. maybe, it's time for a change of environment. and to add in my missing life, one at a time..

macbook! tmr :)

i'm saying this alot these days...

2009-11-29T19:40:00.003+08:00

it feels worse not knowing when you can go, as opposed to knowing you'll be working till late. but the culture is such...ever-changing, too much unnecessary, overruled decision-making, confusing the floor as a whole. lucky i'm one to wait till the last minute. never knew that'll be how i survive. but still doesn't change the fact that i'll be working overtime...just a matter of how late...

well...as an extrapolation, it's kinda a sick comfort knowing i'll be going back late for at least the next three days...instead of it jumping on me when i'm all packed and ready to leave...the only regret is that it's the three days when all the bosses are not around and we're supposed to be throwing parties instead... :( did i mention i hate working when i am, and i hate not working when i'm not? *pouts*

on a much much much brighter note, i'll be getting my macbook this wk! *squeals while striking wishlist off with a forceful swipe* it is so important to have something to look forward to, at the end of each day, week, or even month...because once working life kicks in, the time left to yourself is so very precious...and especially so when something out of the norm happens! :)

i've never found sleeping a waste of time, and i never will. funny thing is, i can spend my weekends sleeping, but refuse to let the night end on a weekday. i guess i'm just a stubborn mule who wants to be able to choose when to sleep, and not be forced to...just as with all other things in my life. i hate being cornered >.<

alright, time to sleep early...so as to wake early. oh wait, i had a good aftn nap today so that might not be necessary :)

and this is the part where...

2009-10-12T00:02:00.002+08:00

i replay conversations, or rather, debates with myself, on whether i'm being overly nitpicking, or if i have unrealistically high expectations. that kinda doesn't make sense already, since i always thought that i have rather low standards with regards to my life and i just live day by day.

but anyway, abt things that i psyche myself to tolerate each time they happen, they are rather trivial and cannot be used to summarise a person per se, but then again, they are basic mannerisms that should have conformed with the norm.

i don't know. i've done this countless times with myself, and i think i just need to talk to someone...to know what's right. i'm not the kind of person who wants to hear my own opinion in another person's voice. i'm just...very confused abt all the possible things i could do and thoughts i could have, that sometimes i'm lost in whatever i was looking for...

and once again, i have only written about the issue and not the context...which is one of the reasons my blog is frustratingly impossible to follow. sorry, work makes me jaded and insensitive to other ppl's feelings..

my all-time favourite song

2009-10-07T16:54:00.001+08:00

and i heard it again today...

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

人不为己, 为谁?

2009-08-15T12:21:00.003+08:00

just needed to let it out. i won a trip to britain after i got back from my grad trip, and a series of obstacles i've discovered over time, that eliminates the reasons for wanting the trip in the first place, made me drag my decision until now and pull out of the trip at rather short notice. i've just inonvenienced someone in his job, and i feel rather guilty. i totally understand if he's cursing and swearing at me right now cos that's what i'd have done too. the travel agency is really nice, arranging everything to fit my requests...but they're still not enough to solve the concerns of travelling alone to such a faraway place, in the middle of work's peak period.

i feel really bad for being so selfish, but going the other way and agreeing to the trip, at the expense of my insecurity and work, is just illogical. it's not the first time that my indecisiveness has brought on so much trouble. high time to do something. but anyways, i do hope that they find a replacement soon.

Greetings from.... Bedok, Singapore

2009-06-05T23:40:00.009+08:00

First up, I'm back from Europe 2 weeks ago, and I was employed 6 days after I landed. they're reaaaally fast. didn't even have a chance to talk to my ex-boss to find out how much she'd offer me =( but anyways, i'm sooo relieved to have found a job so soon...need to fill up the void in my bank accounts =x shall cross fingers and hope i'll survive well there..especially on the one-hour journeys to and fro..groans. pray for me! i will officially start work on June 15th..so everyone! let's meet up before work consumes our social lives one by one..

Photos are on Facebook..too leh cheh to upload here..maybe just the food though. will upload after selection and photoshopping :)

was checking out euro coins on a spur of the moment, and i realised for coins of all denominations, there is one design from every EU country..so cool! i want to collect all..i've started to collect euro coins during the last few days...not bad la...i've got quite a few..

2 Euros: Austria, France, Germany, the Netherlands

1 Euro: Belgium, France, Ireland, Italy

50 cents: Germany, Italy

20 cents: France, Germany

10 cents: Germany, Italy

5 cents & 1 cent: Germany

for the complete collection, visit http://www.eurocoins.co.uk/, or the Wiki page for more info! i will definitely visit europe again and collect them all! can already imagine myself holding up the queue by picking out coins in my change..hurhur..

convo up next! kinda exciting to think abt it: study..mugggg..torture yourself..spend all your time, energy and effort without any returns whatsoever..and at the end of it, it's all about the photo with you jumping as high as you can and throwing your mortarboard together with the rest..the Legendary Photo that will truly liberate you...wahaha...yes..it will be my turn soon.

my phone is spoilt! and i want a new bag..again >( anyone who couldn't catch me before i flew off and still owes me a bday present? heehee.

where did march and april go...

2009-04-12T21:41:00.003+08:00

people would assume that someone with a one-day school week, working part-time in such a seasonal industry as a design agency for annual reports would have relatively more time to do things. that was what i thought so too..

starting from march 15, the day i stopped blogging, i also stopped all normal aspects of life, such as breakfast, lunch, sleep, tv, and decisions. i just kept working on my fyp report, and then on my work projects. i reach home at 2am everyday and visit only the bathroom and my bed. it got up to a point that switching on my laptop at home felt like a new experience. the day i started going on msn at home again, i was startled at how long it has been since i'd done that. just like when i was pia-ing my fyp at home and didn't leave the house for days at end, when i finally took my keys and opened the door, it all felt so unfamiliar.

this period between mid-march and mid-april was probably one of the most mentally-numbing times of my life. i would call it a mental black hole...it felt like infinity when i was going thru it.

and now that this crazy period is over, i'm preparing for my fyp presentation tmr and exam the day after. WHEN WILL IT EVER END?? and after it all, it all dawned on me: it never ends! something new will start after something old has ended.

and people wonder why i don't update my blog?

ooh! aah! random food pics previously ignored

2009-03-14T01:22:00.013+08:00

chicken chop, from bugis street cafe

smoked duck pasta, from food for thought

basil chicken pasta, from food for thought

hokkaido ramen, from sun with moon

tofu cheesecake, from sun with moon

and the yummiest of all
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it sucks...

2009-02-27T00:09:00.002+08:00

when you have to do everything, including other ppl's parts cos they screwed up..

when you finish your part fast and have to wait for other ppl for one wk..

when other ppl just take things for granted cos they are not the ones paying..

when ppl just happily shoot their mouth off cos they are not the ones doing the work..

when idiot-proof tasks can still go wrong..

when it's term break..

this whole day was just so wrong, i can't believe it just happened..a few more of today and i think i can just die on the spot of hbp..i can't take it..i really can't..i'm broke, i'm tired, and i don't see the point..

truth hurts

2009-02-19T02:04:00.002+08:00

the phrase has been heavily used in the office these few wks..what with the bite of reality kicking in and worsening. frankly, i haven't felt anything like this since a long time. maybe a night's sleep can be a sedator..just like how it cures/sedates emo-ness..

i'll never be a boss..cos i've had too many unpleasant encounters with counting on ppl to do their job, but in the end it became mine cos it was so sloppy it would have been better off not done. it doubly sucks when there's a month left to the submission of fyp. ARGH.

and..this is one of the rare spur-of-the-moment posts. the same phrase on my msn, facebook and blog..

not that hard to beat a 69...

2009-02-16T21:34:00.002+08:00

You are required to answer all the following questions (just put an "x" between the parentheses if you have done that particular thing), then tag 16 people & post.

Level 1

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drunk alcohol

So far: 2

Level 2

(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight

So far: 4

Level 3

(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a colleague
(x) seen someone / something die

So far: 7

Level 4

(x) had a crush on one of my Facebook friends
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking

So far: 9

Level 5

(x) eaten sushi
( ) met someone because of Facebook
( ) been in a mosh pit

So far: 10

Level 6

( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) taken painkillers
(x) loved someone I couldn't have
(x) laid on my back & watched the clouds go by
( ) made a snow angel

So far: 12

Level 7

( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sandcastle
(x) gone mudding
(x) played dress up

So far: 16

Level 8

( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work / school

So far: 19

Level 9

(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

So far: 21

Level 10

(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed / stolen from
(x) been cheated on
(x) been misunderstood

So far: 24

Level 11

(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in detention
( ) been in a car / motorcycle accident

So far: 26

Level 12

( ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in a single night
( ) danced in the moonlight

So far: 26

Level 13

(x) hated the way I looked
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned my heart
(x) been obsessed with Post-it notes

So far: 29

Level 14

(x) squished barefoot through mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swum in the ocean
(x) felt like I was dying

So far: 32

Level 15

(x) cried myself to sleep
(x) played Cops & Robbers
(x) recently colored with colored pencils / crayons / markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

So far: 37

Level 16

(x) done something I'd told myself I wouldn't do
(x) made a prank call
( ) laughed till some kind of beverage came out my nose
(x) kissed in the rain

So far: 40

Level 17

( ) written a letter to Santa
(x) watched the sun rise / set with someone I care(d) about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) started a bonfire

So far: 42

Level 18

( ) crashed a party
( ) traveled more than five days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating / rollerblading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) been humped by a monkey

So far: 44

Level 18

(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) sworn at a teacher, in front of him / her
( ) swum with dolphins

So far: 45

Level 19

(x) gotten my tongue stuck to a freezer / ice cube / pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn clothes meant for the opposite sex
(x) sat on a rooftop

So far: 48

Level 20

(x) screamed at the top of my lungs
( ) done / attempted a single-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for over six hours
(x) recently stayed up late talking to someone I care about

So far: 51

Level 21

( ) picked & eaten an apple, right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had / been in a tree house
(x) been afraid to watch horror films alone

So far: 52

Level 22

(x) believed in ghosts
(x) had over 30 pairs of shoes
( ) gone streaking
( ) visited jail

So far: 54

Level 23

( ) played Chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool while fully clothed
( ) been told by a complete stranger that I'm hot
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused

So far: 56

Level 24

( ) caught a fish which I later ate
( ) made a porn video / sex tape or been asked to make one
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard, I cried
(x) cried so hard, I laughed

So far: 59

Level 25

( ) mooned / flashed someone)
( ) had someone moon / flash me
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping
( ) been kicked out of my house
( ) tried to hurt myself

So far: 62

Level 26

(x) rode on a roller coaster
( ) gone scuba diving / snorkeling
(x) had a cavity
( ) blackmailed someone
(x) been blackmailed

So far: 65

Level 27

(x) been used
(x) fallen while going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
(x) licked someone

So far: 69

Level 28

( ) been shot at / held at gunpoint
( ) had sex in the rain
( ) flattened someone's tires
( ) driven my car / truck till the gaslight came on
( ) gotten five dollars' (or less) worth of gas

So far: 69

size 7 heels from korea for sale

2009-02-10T21:43:00.006+08:00

seriously, if these were size 5/6, i'd get them for myself. so pretty! if you're interested, pls leave a msg on the tagboard on how you can be contacted :D

color of tip: brown
condition: 10/10 brand new
size: 7 (length of feet ~245mm) / 37-38
heels: 3"
material: synthetic leather
price: S$29.00

i think...i should start thinking...

2009-02-08T02:40:00.004+08:00

this is a sudden thought i had, and i never thought i'd say this, but after seeing all the teenybopper celebrities and campus talent search shows over the years, i realised there can actually be so much to achieve before turning 20...but i haven't done any of it. up till now, i have no real dream. i just live my days doing what i should be doing, and not what i want to do. maybe i always had the misconception that it cannot be done..but in actual fact i just lacked the courage..

but in any case, i can't turn the clock back now. i am starting to think what i really want..not just for myself but for other ppl. it's easy to figure out what to do for yourself, but not what you can do for others. i think i need a bigger objective..something more general than what job i'm going to apply, which country i'm going to travel to next, or what i have to do for my fyp next.

it makes sense to agree that we regret not doing more than doing anything..but i guess there are some things that can't be tried out just with an excuse of wanting to know if or how it will work out. i guess...i'll stick to doing things that are black-and-white clear... (:

for fyp, this is one of the more intense and busy weeks of all...i'll just grit my teeth and finish it...and await another period of flurry...

and thanks to the global recession, us class of 2009 grads can all see each other in the public sector. wonderful!

Francesco Biasia Good Girl Calf Leather Inspired Satchel Bag

2009-01-31T12:13:00.007+08:00

(left: original, right: mine)

it all began on chu xi, when i was shopping aimlessly in raffles city. this bag from a push cart outside river island caught my eye and after haggling with the kind owner three times, i finally got it. i didn't think much of it, just that i liked its design.....until i went into charles & keith and saw its shiny-skinned twin hanging there. it then dawned on me that i'd bought an inspired designer bag! after some searching, i finally found it on the Francesco Biasia website.

i didn't have much thought abt designer-inspired/knockoff handbags..in fact i didn't mind them as long as they're not blatant ripoffs or replicas. this discussion is all so timely since my colleagues and i have been talking abt the Miu Miu Vitello Lux-inspired satchel bag (i LOVE this pink one!)
that everyone is carrying from Charles & Keith..and the different versions of the real ones with the Miu Miu brand that we keep seeing only recently..until i's hard to tell which is the real and not.

but anyway, i'm glad it's not as rampant. but i'd be smirking if i see anyone carrying the C&K version, since mine's prettier. and cheaper. and from korea! haha. and it's synthetic leather..no issues of animal cruelty here (:

free me

2009-01-30T21:37:00.003+08:00

something has changed me recently, and i don't know what it is. i've become more subtle and easygoing in all ways..personality, temper, food, perceptions... i don't get worked up as much, and as easily, and it's become easier for me to forget or just not bother with stuff that used to irk me to no end. i don't mind as many things as much, and i'm not as picky abt food as i was. i don't even shop as much.

i don't know if it's a good thing...taking things as they come as opposed to having a clearer goal. what abt having no fixed definitions of myself, as opposed to being remembered 10 years down the road for what i'm like now.

it's amazing..the burdens i managed to put down after so long.

maybe..what changed me was age.

and..i need a job!

Name a friend

2009-01-13T23:05:00.001+08:00

A: Audrey
B: Bombie
C: Cherie
D: Deana
E: Emily
F: Fenru
G: Gerard
H: Huixiu
I: Ivonne
J: JoAnn
K: Kim Sheng
L: Li Ting
M: Mavis
N: Nana
O: Ong Yit Hong Adeline (haha, really desperate for an O. oops, did I just say that)
P: Pei Shin
Q: Qinwei
R: Ruojing
S: Shuqin
T: Teresa
U: U Kean Seng (not really a friend, but he exists)
V: Vicky
W: Woonie
X: Xanth
Y: Yao Chen
Z: Zhanie

2. How many siblings does A have?
One younger sis

3. What does B sms you about?
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

4.What is C's nickname?
Quack

5. Do you enjoy talking on the phone with D?
Don’t think we’ve ever talked on the phone for stuff other than proj.. =S

6.How long do you know E?
1 year and a few days (:

7. How much older/younger is F than you?
27 days younger

8.Name G's job now.
Part-time student, full-time anime fan

9. What's H favourite words?
"Hee Hee Hee! Shuai ge!”

10.How is I related to you?
ex-school + co mate

11. What happens if J becomes your enemy?
I think I will die.

12. Does J knows K?
Not only that, they’re neighbours at work!

13. Under what condition will L & M marry?
When the world only has rotting ppl left, and the aura of their complete souls find each other. Assuming then, that law doesn’t matter anymore.

14. How many people do you know with N's name ?
only her.

15. How do you know O?
Hall 6 orientation camp. Then stuck since.

16. Is P very popular?
Yes!

17. How SLIM is Q?
Not very, or Trying-to-be, I guess?

18. Does R know S?
No, but they might have mutual friends on FB (:

19. Is T a very curious person?
No. Extremely.

20. Do you take U as anything more than a friend?
Lol. No. We don’t know each other. I just found his name interesting.

21. Is V hot?
Not sure. When she’s dancing, perhaps (:

22. When was the last time you met up with W?
Just now.

23. How are you related to X?
Love-hate, complicated ex-neighbour colleague who completes my sentences and makes my every day :D

24. What's Y's favourite food?
not sure, but somehow the word muah chee came up.. =S

25. Name 3 of Z's best friends.
Fungie, Lishan..and..her aunt. Haha. Wild pokes at luck.

Source: http://zhanerina.blogspot.com

ARGH!!

2009-01-05T19:54:00.003+08:00

what a bad day it was today, and when you think it can't get worse, it gets worse. how can ALL the events in a day NOT go right?? there was absolutely nothing i could look forward to. miserable pebs..

判刑揭晓

2008-12-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

昨晚的一阵冷风过后，心里有一句跳出来的话：

天啊，我好普通。

悲观的人会接着说，没样貌没身材没身家没头脑。

乐观的人会接着说，普通好，平凡也是一种幸福。

我会说，我样貌身材身家头脑样样俱全，只是都很普通而已。

In loving memory of Wii Wii

2008-12-26T10:05:00.002+08:00

From Woonie:
Wii Wii the hamster
24 September 2007 – 25 December 2008
Our beloved hamster who passed away on the Christmas of 2008. He was a furry ball of mischief that never failed to brighten everyone’s mood with his antics.

Forever endearing, he will be dearly missed by Joel, Jeremy and Yuanting.

From Mich:
Rolling on his hamster wheel like a rolly-polly,
You might know him, his name is Wii Wii.
He snuggles, he hides, he furrows his burrows,
Up in heaven he will be, licking his fur to look like cornrows.

From Me:
Wii Wii the hamster
Was a true blue furball
He always sleeps better
After a meal and all.

Meek, weak and the opposite of quick
He lived to eat and was slow on his feet
Nevertheless he did not deserve
A ferocious cagemate who gets on his nerves.

You we never kissed
Nor bred and made famous
But you’ll be dearly missed
On every single Christmas.

211st post

2008-12-14T00:36:00.003+08:00

i was almost gonna type 211th post, until i actually typed it out and realised. this shows that i'm really tired.

couple of things to get off my chest.

reason for title: 211 was my extension for my office number during internship. fond memories, important number.

alotof events have told me that i have been extremely self-centred and it's time to start appreciating and be grateful. i will play my part dutifully.

i think murphy's law ought to be defined as only focusing on the bad things.

Mrs MisMarriage is a really interesting book. will get my hands on it someday (:

since all my bears have wishlists for xmas, i thought i shd start thinking of my own.
my wishlist for xmas:
A for FYP
2nd upper
a pretty handbag
pretty shoes
hugs
good and nice earphones, hot pink if possible haha.
a great hairdo/cut/style
a nice, long afternoon nap on a grey, rainy weekday

why do alternatives only start popping up after you have already decided?

i rarely get over things i tell myself i'd get over.

i'm dozing off.

pre-, mid- and post-exam

2008-12-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

i think the saying of "if you want something badly enough, you will do anything to get it" kinda explains why i was extra pia this sem..so much so until the most resounding thought i had after exams was: i'm still alive?

one of the first things i rmb abt cs and lcw is him telling us that we should always aim high so that if we don't reach it, at least we're still somewhere pretty high, as compared to aiming mediocrely and ending up worse than mediocre. i think it's quite true la. i mean, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, in a way. aim high, want it badly, do everything you can to get it, end up a bit lower than expectations but still pretty ok, gain confidence, aim higher. but anyway, i have the last-lap/last-minute adrenaline rush kinda studying/working/running mentality..when i know it's gonna be the last, i will have some unexplained rush of energy to complete it. that's why when i run, i keep on telling myself it's the last round. haha.

anyway, i've resumed working at my internship company. everyone was surprised to see me, as expected. but one of them asked why i zi tou luo wang..which i dunno how to answer. haha. now is the walk one step, look one step period ba i guess. all that's on my mind now is earning more $ during my free time for grad trip. career-hunting is not so much a priority cos 1. hard to find job, 2. it can be ongoing while i'm doing other stuff..so..as to whether i'm staying on there..it's the same reply: see how.

in summary, this sem is tiring..extremely tiring. we have all been overworked and still have to be subjected to the bell curve and told that it is the reality. but there have been fun times too. fun that can't be found in reality. so i guess i'm glad the fun was there to neutralise the suffering a little. and we will all miss mark and snuggles! sniff.

recently developed habits

2008-11-04T15:26:00.002+08:00

1. left-clicking with middle finger and right-clicking with ring finger
2. curling hair after bath
3. using the comp whilst sprawled on the bed, resulting in backache
4. sleeping at 4am
5. using face masks weekly
6. back to 2 meals a day whee~
7. staying at home 24/4

it takes a while to notice changes in yourself..

anyway, i will conquer 402, and 434, and fsci, and 475, and..and..

do you know that

2008-10-30T15:05:00.002+08:00

when you put tape on a balloon and poke a hole through it, air will seep out slowly and the balloon will not burst?

it kinda describes me now. cos a deadline has been extended. whoosh.

one more off the wishlist!

2008-10-26T13:44:00.002+08:00

WHEE!

Singapore Hit Awards 2008

2008-10-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

Congrats to youjia for clinching the following awards!!!
优秀新人奖
Y.E.S. 93.3FM 醉心龙虎榜榜上风光奖
年度人气奖

his album also got 最佳专辑制作人..

it's not alot..it's not big..but i'm proud of him.. (((((:

for the lack of a better title

2008-10-17T20:28:00.003+08:00

i can't believe that the rough draft i did received such positive response. though it didn't really fulfil its 'business' purpose, somehow i was damn high that it would have gotten high marks for creativity. the idea of working in an agency is reinforced once agn. but nooooooo...it's a life of helllll....

sigh. i want to recover from all of this. i hate coughing more than any other discomfort in the world!

Everything and nothing

2008-10-16T00:39:00.003+08:00

From the movie Iron Man, in the scene where Tony Stark and Yinsen are playing backgammon in the cave.

Tony Stark: You still didn't tell me where you're from.
Yinsen: I'm from a small town called Gulmira. It's actually a nice place.
Tony Stark: You got a family?
Yinsen: Yes. And I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?
Tony Stark: -shrugs- Nothing.
Yinsen: No. So you're a man who has everything... and nothing.

nothing much

2008-10-12T23:37:00.003+08:00

having too much time is so scary. it makes you constantly wonder if you're missing out what you're supposed to be doing. then agn, why is that happening to me! i'm a final year student. maybe i did leave something out. maybe it's not the time yet. maybe, things are just not going as efficiently as they could have been. amount of work required increases exponentially with the number of people involved. right?

it's miserable to be only start doing work as they come. arghhhhhhh.

Post-402 Traumatic Stress Disorder

2008-09-29T20:42:00.003+08:00

i got the average score for 402 midterm. that's like 65% correct only. it's damn bad! for a 40% midterm!! mark was being nice when he said the average is "just right for an exam of this type". arrr. i want to die. and..it's a damn slack week..mon free day, tues only got 402 lect, wed holiday, thur free day. that's like a 1.5 day wk -_- sigh. i'm so demoralised. if this is the score after bell-curving, i'll dig the hole deeper. fyi, my msn/fb status now is digging a hole. there are so many things i need to put in it. my face, myself, my 2nd upper, my coffin...

now, i'm even more unsure if i shd continue fighting for what i want. it seems less attainable by the day...

i so want to fly to japan now

2008-09-26T19:34:00.003+08:00

i so want the sem to end now
i so want fyp to work itself out
i so want to land myself in a job just to pay everything off, and that's it
i. so. want. to. ESCAPE!

life is filled with dilemmas. if it seems like the harder choice, it is the right one.

just had the longest fyp meeting (5 hours!)...but other than feeling a lil tired and mind-bogged, i heart my fyp mates. really. after looking at the combi of ppl comprising fyp groups, i think ours will work out pretty well ^^ last yr's feeling of being-in-the-best-project-group-i've-ever-had remains.

thinking of going back my internship company to do part time work next yr, since i will only have 1 module to clear...which effectively renders it a 1day wk.. -_- need $ for grad trip..

speaking of which...(refer to title) I WANT TO GO TO TOKYO! who's with me?? muz start a tokyo grad trip fund and get ppl to contribute le. ^^

saw the F1 test drive today...SO COOL~! now i understand what all the craze and the exorbitant ticket prices are abt! being right beside the zooming cars and feeling the reverberation of the engine and tyres is just not possible on the tv. wow. i was momentarily blown away. not literally, fortunately. ^^

sometimes i think rational = cowardly. cowardly pebs. sigh.

200th post

2008-09-20T09:17:00.002+08:00

VOTE FOR LIN YOUJIA in the Singapore Hit Awards 2008! He is included in:

(Non-votable)
1. 年度专辑大奖 - 神秘嘉宾
2. 最佳专辑制作人 - 神秘嘉宾 (陈伟、陈小霞、陈秀珠、郭文宗、王治平)
3. 最佳演绎男歌手 - 林宥嘉!!!11
4. 优秀新人奖 - 林宥嘉!!!1

(Votable)
1. 最受欢迎男歌手奖 - 林宥嘉!!!1
2. 最受欢迎新人奖 - 林宥嘉!!!1!

woohoo~! voting ends 21 Sept 2359 and can be repeated. so hurry!

ignorance is bliss

2008-09-17T18:49:00.002+08:00

because it equates to less workload. it has been a rather miserable 3 wks that i didn't blog, primarily because my life is spelt S-C-H-O-O-L now. fyp is nagging me, 402 is confusing me, 475 is boring me, and 434 is just..killing me. i wish it would just kill me in one shot, and not drag my agony across 13 wks, 6 presentations and 2 papers. SIGH. such is life. i'm so divided now. this is probably the sem that i'm involved in sch work the most and yet there is no corresponding gratification! i'm suffering from cognitive dissonance.

but then, it is the make it or break it year..so i just have to find a way of surviving it. SIGH.

i spend so much time on the abovementioned that the simplest things actually seem like a temporary escape..e.g. meals, bathing and standing time on the train (cos then i wun be able to highlight my readings). and of cos now..blogging. what is this??

bleah..dinnertime. yippee.

some light

2008-08-28T10:08:00.002+08:00

at the end of the wk. fyp confirmed! more readings done. deadlines met. finally...some things to yay abt.

wishlist updated.

i've given up entirely on starhub...particularly its helpline. it's singtel and singnet for me once the ropes are off..

i want out

2008-08-25T17:03:00.003+08:00

till now things are still not going smoothly..and i'm struggling to make them right. i'm constantly and immensely troubled by some ppl and i'm starting to feel like i can't be with them anymore. it's not their fault; we're just different ppl living in different worlds..unable to adapt to each other. time doesn't make things better in this case..quite the contrary. i'm bogged by all these thoughts. i dunno how to not think abt it.

responsibility is such a big word that forces so many ppl in the world to stay to each other..

this is too emo to be published..but ppl can still read it..due to its non-defamatory nature...woohoo i will conquer 402~~~~~

things

2008-08-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

haven't been going too smoothly these few days. but i trust that they will pass. the result, no matter for better or for worse, still has to be faced and then move on..

been spending alotof $$ too. argh. i have a feeling i'm just paranoid but when my bank balance dips below the previous thousand mark, it gives me a certain insecurity.

i seriously need help. i've been having supper urges this past one month..after i stopped the bad habit since jan..now it's back agn! every night is unbearable..i shall eat more at dinner..i wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that i have earlier mealtimes and i only eat 2 meals a day..

fyp fyp!! it's the biggest headache. i don't want to be the last group without a tutor..without a mentor..it's impossible to pia during the hols even if you want to.

and i seriously need to remove my lovehandles. i will start a running routine.

this photo will be everywhere

2008-07-27T23:51:00.001+08:00

宥嘉 overdose

2008-07-20T14:58:00.002+08:00

星期四的确是跟宥嘉合照群体照，还排在最靠近他的位置，而且搭肩拍照。可是在独自回家的路上，不但没有意想中雀跃的心情，而且多了一种莫名的空虚感。这迟迟不解的空虚感到了星期六，那个连下几个钟头的雨的签唱会似乎把我浇醒了。其实崇拜偶像这种事发生在我身上时，我还是比较适合用实际的支持买专辑买改版，在心中默默祝福和鼓励。我不能接受尽管我出席他的每一个通告，但到最后他都不知道我的存在。这种盲目的付出我做不到。一想到不可能跟他有更近一步的认识，就真的有一点 sian diao..不想浪费时间。好不称职的歌迷哦..

至少星期四有合照，星期六也有握到手..其实也可以算牵手，因为是他的左手握着我的右手。。严格来说，握手应该是同手哦..所以我们当时是在牵手哦^^..but 他也牵了很多其他人的手 so.. -_-

anyway, 重点是前两次去捧场都算是近距离的接触..等一下的爆唱会就有点找不到理由去的感觉..hai..

anyway anyway, 想要看到我跟宥嘉的合照要买i周刊哦! 我想应该会在里面. 我会第一时间买来看.^^

memory

2008-07-16T22:48:00.003+08:00

i found a folder in my comp that was rather hidden, and it made me recall some things that i was shocked that i forgot. sometimes we are so bothered by the unhappiness in our lives that we forget we were once happy. my memory these days are failing me. i sometimes cannot differentiate whether things in my memory are dreams or actual happenings. i need tangible evidence. so if you hope that i remember you 10 years later, you should have a photo of us ready. ~

i watched so many movies lately. OLD movies. lol. thanks to the uob now card. i'm watching movies every monday. so far i've watched incredible hulk, wanted, kungfu panda, get smart, what happens in vegas, driving lessons, fantastic four rise of the silver surfer, half of sweeney todd and i have good luck chuck, bring it on, butterfly effect 2 and thx 1138 1971. i'm so going to watch Pathology! cos Milo Ventimiglia is in it! who's in it with me??? it's R21! it will be my first~ oh and X-Files! and HSM 3! and HBP at the end of the year! ooh i'm making myself look fwd to all these big movies. keke.

on to another groundbreaking news. I'M GOING TO TAKE PHOTO WITH YOUJIA AT TP TMR!! ZOMG!! bombie won the iweekly contest. TOGETHER WITH HIS BRO. so we constitute like 40% of the winners alr. zomg zomg. i've alr picked out my clothes. bombie said i'm mad. zz. i'm just excited. ^^ fate works in strange ways. joel and i were exclaiming over msn this aftn. first about his win, and then abt the second win. hahaha. so funny. will post the photo!!

you know the feeling

2008-07-10T22:09:00.003+08:00

the feeling that everything just chooses to go wrong on this random day, without warning, without relent. it even feels like everyone is abandoning me.

feeling empty, and tiny, getting lost, then caught in the rain, getting cranky, and then kena pang seh - what a lot to go through in a day. let's call it murphy's day.

it just feels so unfair sometimes. but like all other times, it just takes some coaxing and changing of perspectives to change my mood. rarrr. isn't this the typical method to pacify a woman?!

i think everything is telling me i need a long road trip/getaway. boohoo.

The sweetest recipe of all is effort

2008-06-27T21:45:00.007+08:00

woohoo~ the first pebbles-made chicken stew was a success! glad that everyone liked it..even my bro, the golden tongue. no pics though. doesn't look half as good as it tastes. ^^

shall post some other random pics..highlights of the year!

just to prove that my intuition is correct

2008-06-25T23:57:00.004+08:00

it's so hard to think of what i wanna eat recently...cos i've been eating good food and satisfying my cravings ever since bday. wahaha. i guess that's good. everyone has been telling me i put on weight but i never lor! i still weigh the same as i was..i forgot sec3 or j1..but anyway, that means at least 5yrs. maybe the fats just re-distributed themselves to all the undesired places >.<

as we grow older..it just gets more difficult to think of what to get for each other's bday. in my opinion, we should slowly switch to just having a nice dinner and gathering tgt..and..forget abt presents. oops..is that what jaded working adults do?

feeling rather empty without work..but at least i have things to do at home to pass time. first up..of cos..is to embark on my fyp research. though it's more or less decided, it's still rather mushy at this stage. no concrete work done yet. i think if we go on like that, it's rather dangerous. note to self: must buck up.

oh..a good news that i haven't updated..i have a 3-day week! woohoo~~ tues, wed and fri. and once agn, for the third time in a row, i forgot to register for my UEs.. -_-" not surprising anymore but well..how could i forget yet agn?! but luckily..it doesn't really matter cos they're all on waitlist..hmm..

alotof things are just not meant to be. i thought i cfm will go holiday after pi, but i'm not. i thought i'd just take a 4AU UE and S/U it, but instead i'm gg to go for 2 3AU UEs and not S/U-ing anything. i will just go for my last shot at it..if it fails, at least i tried..

说不出的感觉

2008-06-20T20:25:00.003+08:00

i finally cried while watching a jap drama. but it was just ohhh..so touching. shizuku and her otousan. sniff. watching jap dramas make ppl realise there are so many more themes to explore other than puppy love..(chiroru!)

thinking of taking forensic science and magic of voice next sem..anyone else interested?? ^^

had a mini belated bday celebration ytd..at bedok botak jones. i think i was too full from the sakae teatime buffet..i didn't really eat much during dinner. not v nice also. prefer aston's ^^

took a colorgenics test a few days back..it was quite freakingly accurate. it does describe quite in detail, what i'm feeling recently. but as all other personality tests, the purpose it serves is mainly to boast abt its analytic abilities, and rarely to provide any concrete or practical solutions..sigh.

anyway, having the freedom to do whatever i want is so very precious..shall treasure the trust that ppl have in me..while it lasts.. (:

and i've concluded that working and studying is both challenging and adventurous and i will not risk my grades or fyp next sem..so..must have a budget year4.. :(

looking forward to the wkn! ^^

reminiscence

2008-06-18T13:33:00.003+08:00

it's raining! i love it..the number one reason to stay at home, cuddle in bed with the bears and have the most extravagant aftn nap..but after that, pls bring all the heat and humidity away with you...

-------------------------------------

have been listening to and watching old stuff lately..and i realise everytime that we revise old things, they always have new meaning..

was listening to 爱很简单 (卢学叡version) recently..and i dunno why also..it just connected with me more than the original version..maybe i just like his treatment of the song ^^

忘了是怎么开始也许就是对你有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己已深深爱上你真的很简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日也去跟随那个疯狂的人是我喔......

i love you 无法不爱你 baby 说你也爱我
i love you 永远不愿意 baby 失去你

不可能更快乐只要能在一起做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停用最真诚的心让爱变得简单
i love you 我一直在这里 baby 一直在爱你
i love you yes i do i love you
永远都不放弃这爱你的权利

如果你还有一些困惑 oh no 请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着爱你 come on yes i do

it was after this 卢学叡 version that i finally understood why it's such a popular song..cos anyone can relate to it so easily..the lyrics are so simple, yet true..

-------------------------------------

the movie 再说一次我爱你 was playing on ch62 last wk..and i got to hear the song agn..though i've never watched the movie before..but just by looking at the lyrics, it's not hard to deduce what the movie is abt. anyway, the song is just so touching..no matter how many times i hear it..

-------------------------------------

as for my recent status,
i❤雫!!

she's this amazing child actress 八木優希 (Yuki Yagi) in 蔷薇のない花屋 (没有蔷薇的花店)..totally adorable and talented..and she's only 8..i just love her to bits (: her performance is unbelievable considering how young she is..

-------------------------------------

if anyone has watched 斗牛，要不要..you will know who 金子聪 is..and if there's anything i rmb most from the show..it's a line from him that goes,

"算了。。你们这些人烦死了! 我已经不想理你了。我也不知道要讲什么了。。祝你一辈子后悔。"

as to why it's etched in my memory..i guess it's one of the most concise ways to express what i feel sometimes. facing someone who doesn't fight for what he wants..working harder for the results of someone who doesn't contribute kinda sucks..just makes you wanna give up on that person completely..

-------------------------------------

nothing much for now..it's still raining..will be off to enjoy the rest of my rainy aftn..tatas..

★YOGA林宥嘉★首张个人大碟《神秘嘉宾》

2008-06-17T09:07:00.004+08:00

1。眼色
曲: 4/5 (李泉)
词: 3/5 (李泉，小林)
曲风: 戏剧 Musical
宥嘉风格: 4/5
K歌程度: 1/5

2。神秘嘉宾
曲: 3/5 (郑楠)
词: 3/5 (陈信延)
曲风: 迷幻唱腔的抒情歌
宥嘉风格: 3.5/5
K歌程度: 3/5

3。爱情是圆的
曲: 2/5 (丁世光)
词: 2/5 (蓝小邪)
曲风: R&B, Modern Soul
宥嘉风格: 3/5
K歌程度: 2/5

4。伯乐
曲: 5/5 (彭学斌)
词: 4/5 (彭学斌)
曲风: 抒情歌
宥嘉风格: 4/5
K歌程度: 5/5

5。请说
曲: 4/5 (西楼)
词: 3/5 (林宥嘉!!)
曲风: 英式摇滚
宥嘉风格: 5/5
K歌程度: 2/5

6。病态
曲: 5/5 (Connie Li)
词: 4/5 (林夕)
曲风: 百老汇 Broadway Big Band, Jazz
宥嘉风格: 4/5
K歌程度: 3/5

7。残酷月光
曲: 3/5 (陈小霞)
词: 2/5 (向月娥)
曲风: 轻摇滚
宥嘉风格: 2/5
K歌程度: 4/5

8。慢一点
曲: 2/5 (宋念宇)
词: 4/5 (施人诚)
曲风: 英伦风
宥嘉风格: 2/5
K歌程度: 2/5

9。心有林夕
曲: 5/5 (郑楠)
词: 4/5 (蓝小邪)
曲风: 宁静的抒情慢歌
宥嘉风格: 2.5/5
K歌程度: 5/5

10。再别康桥
曲: 4/5 (西楼)
词: 2/5 (徐志摩)
曲风: 苏格兰风民谣摇滚
宥嘉风格: 3.5/5
K歌程度: 2/5

11。传说
曲: 4/5 (郑楠)
词: 2/5 (施人诚)
曲风: 抒情对唱
宥嘉风格: 2/5
K歌程度: 4/5

based on my personal opinion, the above is my review for dear youjia's debut album!! seems like not many ppl have good reviews for this album. i guess that's cos it doesn't exactly have mass appeal. but then agn, it's his album! he should be the one to like it most. and he certainly does la..most of the songs are so him. ^^ he's one lucky singer..to cut a debut album for himself, and not for the masses..how many singers can do that?

in order of preference:
1. 心有林夕
2. 伯乐
3. 病态
4. 再别康桥
5. 眼色
6. 慢一点
7. 请说
8. 神秘嘉宾
9. 残酷月光
10. 爱情是圆的
11. 传说

planning for my future...

2008-06-10T12:17:00.002+08:00

...six months. sigh. i think i can't really recall how to register for subjects alr. like, how to react when there is no more vacancy. don't really have plan 2 and 3 cos the PPC PEs are so limited. grr. deciding btw jap3 and korean2. anyone wanna take with me? ^^ jap3 gives me a much nicer timetable though. i can have a 3-day week if i want to. yay.

realised i didn't import the post abt my bday celebrations. but just as well. they kinda stretched quite long.

30th Apr: bday lunch treat at chinese restaurant near office. presents from X and J too! ^^
1st May: miramar dim sum buffet. angbao from parents and shoes from pbb!
2nd May: bday muffin from W!
14th May: bday dinner treat by ad and melvin
30th May: bday celebration with htg. pebbles tee from all of them! ^^
3rd June: youjia debut album from myself (:
8th June: dinner with wins and present from adewin!

had a much milder and preferred 22nd ^^ love this year acty..made a new bunch of lovely friends under totally unexpected circumstances..experienced real working life..went thru one sem in social university..and..became a more independent person. (:

梦寐以求的结局

2008-06-07T10:22:00.002+08:00

the finale last night was the greatest. 23 weeks of bonding, for the most heartwarming farewell party ever. the perfect ending to my internship. a flawless night. even without the presents, the big big card, the impeccable attendance, just by their most admirable intention alone, i can safely say i mattered to ppl who only knew me for 5 months, as much as they mattered to me. and i'm not good with thanks or goodbyes, so my appreciation shall be kept at the bottom of my heart.

the perfect ending doesn't just happen to anyone who tries. it's owed to the everyone else who are willing to make it happen. for other points in my life, this is my statement for it.

梦寐以求的结局，不是在梦里，就是在童话里。。

numb

2008-05-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

what a rough and long wkn. but it's all over now.

life goes on no matter what.

神秘嘉賓

2008-05-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

曲：鄭楠
詞：陳信延
演唱：林宥嘉

我踩著夢的階梯走進了一座迷霧森林
誰的心事被天使竊聽泛起漣漪

時間它幫我設計下一秒誰是神秘嘉賓
小心翼翼揭開了面具掌聲鼓勵

誰闖進我的場地誰讓我措手不及
我早就預備的劇情妳卻給我一筆
狡猾地致命地正中我紅心

我跟誰變得親密誰逐漸離我遠去
華麗演出共襄盛舉唯有妳的背影
友情客串卻留下刻骨銘心的回憶

妳按了我的門鈴我終於從呵欠中甦醒
緊張兮兮對妳說一句歡迎光臨

全場觀眾都離席剩下我還在原地尋覓
耳邊聽著謝幕的歌曲走不出去

誰闖進我的場地誰讓我措手不及
我早就預備的劇情妳卻給我一筆
狡猾地致命地正中我紅心

我跟誰變得親密誰逐漸離我遠去
華麗演出共襄盛舉唯有妳的背影
友情客串卻留下刻骨銘心的回憶

我搬到誰的隔壁誰成了我的鄰居
鳴謝生命有妳參與笑納我的邀請
曲終人散卻寫下不會結束的結局

首張專輯「神秘嘉賓」將於5月14日起正式開始預購，6月3日發行。對於這張集結李泉、林夕、陳小霞等優秀創作人作品的專輯，林宥嘉很開心地說：「我對這張專輯非常滿意，也很有信心將它推薦給大家。」他同時表示，「神秘嘉賓」不僅有令人回味無窮的音樂作品，就連企畫、拍攝封面、MV等任何一個環節，都讓他衷心的佩服與感謝，「無論是導演、攝影師、燈光…他們都為了我的專輯不計成本地付出，熱情地貢獻他們的才華和心血，在我的眼裡，每一位幕後工作人員不再僅僅是工作人員，而是藝術家！」

眼色

2008-05-18T12:27:00.000+08:00

主唱：林宥嘉
作曲：李泉
填詞：李泉

人面獅身的謎語已經被解開
莎士比亞的對白不再精彩
伊莉莎白泰勒的眼眶
流下埃及豔后古老的眼淚
掰掰　飛快而永遠　

只有身體在狂歡　心就沒負擔
耳朵被音樂塞滿　拋向雲端
沒有什麼不能被改變
就像沒有什麼值得被改變
一整夜　眨眼一瞬間

誰來燒熱我眼睛的黑色
誰能逃得出我的催眠
我會讓你心甘情願
把一切都給我　只要看著我的雙眼

誰來燒熱我眼睛的黑色
誰能止得住我的乾渴
我會讓你跌入深不見底的快樂
無法忘記我的雙眼

只有身體在狂歡　心就沒負擔
耳朵被音樂塞滿　拋向雲端
沒有什麼不能被改變
就像沒有什麼值得被改變
一整夜　眨眼一瞬間

誰來燒熱我眼睛的黑色
誰能逃得出我的催眠
我會讓你心甘情願
把一切都給我　只要看著我的雙眼

誰來燒熱我眼睛的黑色
誰能止得住我的乾渴
我會讓你跌入深不見底的快樂
無法忘記我的雙眼

無法忘記我的雙眼

on a lighter note

2008-04-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

we all had a lovely week...cos it was a boss-free week! seriously i think the office functions better..ppl working at their own pace..having their own system..i really do think our combined system is more organised and efficient..shrugs..i dunno.

on another note, C has left..and CP decided to stay in the end. happy for the both of them..i'm sure it was hard to make either decision..but once made..they would have no regrets. so silly..i was quite sad tt time..on R's last day..until J said he's happy for him that he has found a better place. and i realised, yup, i should think like that. (: but with so many departures..would it all evolve to envying those who are leaving? haha.

i guess the difference in mentality between me and the rest is like going on a journey..when you know when it ends, you wouldn't be as resistant. for me, i tend to let frustrations go more easily, since i know i have an "expiry date" (Management, 2008)..and all the problems don't really affect me as much. with the end of the 6-month stint, i can be rid of every shit i've encountered, am encountering or will encounter. but for the rest, i can imagine they have to be more or less watching their back all the time..cos every mistake counts. K was the best example to date. but i can't honestly say it's unfair. just that..it will leave ppl talking. shrugs.

i have 10 more days to write my journal. yay.

new colleagues coming in tmr. i hope i'll have a nice neighbour. and maybe he/she is having the exact same thought right now too.

good luck for exams ppl~ (:

100th post

2008-04-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

but it didn't feel like the 100th post..

4th month in the company..but it didn't feel like it was only 3 months..

3 more ppl are leaving..but i wouldn't have felt it if they didn't tell me..

3 more are coming..but i don't feel like welcoming them..

i don't have exams..but i don't feel any less stressed..

i'm buried in work..but that's when i feel the best..

i'm pebbles..but i don't feel like i am..

i'm down and confused..and i should be..

helplessness

2008-04-06T19:46:00.000+08:00

so many things happened since i last posted that i dunno where to start. but mostly, i had crazy OTs..the latest being 2am.

i don't think ppl understand the purpose of my jobscope..but it's ok. anyway, as april is here, every single listed company in Singapore with their financial year ending in December will be required by law to have their AGM..and AGMs need..annual reports..so, i have to work OT.

i don't think it's weird for interns to work as late as full-timers. i also don't think account servicing is redundant. but apparently alotof ppl out there do. and apparently, alotof com secs, investor relations heads, fin cons etc, only have either authority or common sense. and it's precisely cos of these ppl that everyone below is kept busy..working OT. it's rather disheartening at times, when everyone else sees what is wrong, but the decision maker is blind to it..and the mistake is just being left alone. we're all trying our best for our clients..but do they know it? we can advise them, but will they trust us?

my havas are here, like after a million months. and i'm so angry. i waited so long, and the shipping is still so ex, that i might as well have bought it at num. and the depreciating value during the time that had lapsed while waiting would have been the price difference. gahh.

i've been having these random urges to start a business. but selling what, i dunno. cos i can't stay in an environment that creativity is clearly not possible but which the higher-ups still try to impose. like, most of the time i just don't see the point! this agn, is another case-in-point of the authority-common sense example.

i think, the only thing i want for my bday, is to have company to fly to taipei to watch my youjia's concert. but why are all dreams so unattainable..

most impressive win until now

2008-03-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

absolut random

2008-03-23T15:49:00.000+08:00

saw it on the trailers last nite..
阿雅：听说跳舞的一大禁忌就是吃饱后跳。
宪哥：吃饱还有什么禁忌，曹格来跟我们说一下。
曹格：再吃啊！
-----------------------------------
part of crab pincer flew and disappeared from sight when i was trying to crack the shell.
after abt 5 mins of searching around the table..
me: die! where is it! help me find!
bam: were u holding it with your left or right hand?
me: left...
bam: then it flew to the left la!
me: ...i think.
bam: aiya. forget it la. it flew at the speed of light and went into the 4th dimension.
.
.
.
(it flew into the soup by the way.)
-----------------------------------
i think i'm turning as mad as a dylan who loves to OT..cos i have off in-lieu!!!! yay!!!!

a day of many firsts.

2008-03-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

i saw someone with the most obvious wig i've ever seen. or should i say, the first time i've noticed someone's hair is a wig. not cos it's the wrong colour (aka blonde or flat black), or that it's of poor quality, but very dumbly, of the way it's worn. zomg. i can't believe someone could ever put on a wig and not notice such an obvious outline! his grey and white sideburns and some fringe are showing from under that obvious outline. and it doesn't help that his eyebrows confirm what's his real hair colour. and last of all, the wig was made elvis-styled. so it just draws you to notice it, and eventually what it really is. but oh well. i shall stop here. cos according to Eleanor Roosevelt,

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

first time i OT-ed so late. sometimes interdependence is not efficient at all. if i could, i'd finish everything in a day, myself. dun mind OT-ing for 4 days to have 1 free day man. sighhh. and maybe NS does make a difference. responsibility and maturity.

first time i waited for 3 trains before i could board during evening rush hour. the first train took 10 minutes to come. zzz. and i was there for the last 4. and i was acty contemplating gg back office to wait it out. or have dinner with the rest. but..whatever.

first time i didn't stop working for 8 hours straight, in my own office.

other than that, nothing much i have to write. here.

悠遊有宥

2008-03-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

went to pc fair with colleagues ytd. E, J and X. on our way to the bus stop, we saw this whole class of sec sch kids maybe, looking like they're in their OGs, playing some games on the muddy tiled pavements of tg pagar. i almost felt like telling them i know how they feel..haha. so anyway, we lunched at this ultra fab place..called BAB sthg..at millenia..it's a jap-korean restaurant...and the kimchi is so nice~! first time i feel like i can finish rice with just that kimchi alone..but of cos, their other dishes v nice too..and we sat down there for damn long..just for the shiok wind..and when we finally made our way there, it was so crowded that there was a board with scrolling text telling ppl to "return in an hour", "due to overwhelming response to the IT fair".... -_-""" rubbish...since when is one hour different from another..it will still be as crowded! so we went, and started our 3-hour-long girl power hunt for the ultra-portable lappie and an external hard disk..so proud of ourselves..never knew we could decipher all the specs..woohoo~ in the end X bought this fujitsu one..with a free 2GB DDR2 upgrade..which we requested and was immediately acceded to.. -_-" they were that prepared to give freebies..so..yea..u ask, u get..and J got a seagate ext hard disk..and i bought a box of 50 DVD-Rs..haha. ^^ all around us were ppl buying printers and lappies and table-sized LCD TVs..

if only i could teleport..just once..i'd go to youjia's concert.. :(

dichotomy

2008-03-08T16:27:00.000+08:00

yes or no. right or wrong. can or cannot. if only everything were so clearly divided..there would be so much less permutations we have to deal with..

after a terrible one-day stint at a particularly unpleasant dept in some lousy bank that was recently swallowed by another, i've come to appreciate my colleagues more..not that i didn't know before..but as compared to ppl outside, i think they're angels..time just seems to fly with them..life is simple and uncompetitive..perhaps it just happens to suit my mindset..my style of working..maybe ppl in the banking sector are supposed to be sharp-tongued and impatient and bossy in order to survive..and it is not a generalisation..cos it's an agreed sentiment among my colleagues who have worked with bank ppl before..so..shrug.

really must hand it over to my colleague, who can take all the shouting over the phone, in the face and behind her back like they're just irritating traffic..and also v touched that another consoled and changed perspectives for me for the whole morning..and cos of them i cheered up and chose to focus on the good instead of the bad..instead of brooding over how such inconsiderate ppl can exist, i can choose to look at the dearer ppl around me..who make my day everyday..i don't think many in the company have a particularly burning passion for what they're doing..but i'm sure one of the reasons they stay on is for the ppl who're there..never thought i'd go back after my PI..but now i don't deny the possibility..erm..that is if they want me back.. :S

i've been rather disillusioned and idealized lately..trapped in a world where only one thing is of concern at a time..focusing on one thing at a time..so..i could be going mad..pls beware.

it's march! the start of the birthdays cycle..whee~

yawn..i'm buffed. tatas.

as fate would have it,

2008-03-06T21:48:00.001+08:00

Youjia's first ever concert is held during the only holidays I have my internship in...so I can't be there...but I'll be giving moral support from Singapore! I love you, jia!

my bro has the same bday as our PM, and mine, his son's...

I was in the ntu list of randomly picked ppl for a study done by my angel..and we just couldn't believe what the chances were...

X and I were talking abt fate tdy...

I walked over to chat with J, who was randomly and absentmindedly flipping thru a pile of annual reports, and we discovered this really cool-looking one with an embossed cover of a business suit, such that it made you feel like you're running your fingers over real thread sewn on paper..and the new idea for our annual report was born...

but how would you explain the coincidence of me choosing to wear a purple shirt today and discovering an annual report lying on the shelf, of the same shade, and with a cover of a suit, such that it would turn out like this???

who ever said annual reports were boring??

I said the day would have a turn for the better (: [refer to prev post]

my dream

2008-03-06T07:51:00.000+08:00

no, i'm not referring to my colleague's name..cos i woke up feeling a tad disappointed that the wonderful dream i had, i remembered completely. which means it will not happen. i always wonder man, what they say abt remembered dreams not happening, is it restricted to what exactly happened in the dream? or the general idea..sadly enough, i dun always have them in my memory long enough to verify that..so i thought i should pen it down asap.

r is leaving..when they say life has its ups and downs, i fully understand that..cos my downs always come at an extremely sharp turn..i was still raving abt my work life ytd..and i got mad at one of them tdy. but anyway, as i was saying, i think i understand what he's gg thru, despite him saying i don't..i can feel the stress building up..i know alotof things being done are redundant and pointless without explanation, but i didnt expect the presence of nice colleagues can't alleviate the situation a little. it's good that you know what you don't want, r. i'll miss you..sob..

so that's all abt my little morning waking up disappointment. sigh. i'll get better. when i reach the office. (:

只要有你在左宥..

2008-02-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

日子总会觉得好过一点..

gradually getting sick of working life..no doubt days pass very fast..but wkns pass equally fast too..and..and..i want my term break..and my 3mths holiday..i dun even start to mind the exams..think abt it..it's just a 2-wk crunch period..but pi is crunch period spread over 6 mths..somemore muz write report every mth..shucks..i haven't write yet..sob..and i'm shortchanged by 30AUs..since i work 40hrs a wk? and that's not counting in the daily and sat OTs yet..

met up with sisters on thurs..and it's worth a big yay..cos we shd have met up like, 2mths ago..cos, i got my xmas present on Feb 21st..how amazing..but oh well..we appreciate it all the same.. (: tree's gg back soon..and i mean soon, like within 1 wk..so..yea..take care ok? i absolutely enjoy every meeting with them..it's always such a crazy time, with or without the brother-in-laws.. =p

..which led me to think of my cousin in law, not my cousin-in-law, haha. that's our cny joke this yr. bleah..why do we only meet once a yr..

suddenly rmbed long telephone calls..the memory and feeling of talking abt anything in the world..talking till both get tired..falling asleep on each other over the phone..and the cycle repeats..so..who will do it with me agn? i think i'm a very last-century person..cos i certainly would prefer to have face-to-face conversations more than thru a pc..no matter who the person is.. "even if it's an enemy?" yup, so that i can kick it in the face, or balls..haha..

anyway, one reason i dread gg to work is the lunch conversation topics. WHY do working men have to talk abt sex-related topics when there are other men ard? it's not table-friendly lor..it's just men-friendly..and it's absolutely not fun to be sitting in between 2 men talking abt the edison chen scandal when it's SO PASSE. hello, the story has developed..moved on..and somemore now the bigger headline is lydia sum's death. i can't believe they're still talking abt where to get the photos? like, excuse me, that's 3 wks old news. so anyway, my point is..do men really have that little to talk abt?? can't they talk abt unisex things like overseas holidays?? or haunted stories?? or movies? sigh..i may not have as much working experience as them..but at least i know better than them, what it means to acknowledge and respect other ppl's presence..

宥惑

2008-02-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

如果，在现有的表达方式里都无法形容为何对一个遥不可及的人那么喜欢，那这就是拿来形容我最贴切的话了吧。

宥嘉唱的歌真的会越听越上瘾，但也没有几个人会想要戒掉吧。。快点发片吧！

i was just unblocked on msn. how strange and sudden..but it's not exactly good news..i rather we had zero contact..that i never will have knowledge of your existence..no..i rather we never knew each other..so..shall i block you back? so we can be out of each other's lives agn?

some drama jus happened downstairs..this middle-aged malay lady supposedly stole things from sheng siong and got caught..and i deduce, from what i saw from my window, she herself and other bystanders offered to pay for the stuff but the staff insisted on arresting her? i think la..cos she was resisting so hard..or maybe cos got miscomm..she didn't seem to understand english very well. there was like 50 ppl watching la..so drama..and this uncle was so angry that the staff are so merciless to an old lady..that the price of the stuff she stole is not significant at all..but they wouldn't let her go. so..sheng siong boss, in consideration of the rising wrath of the people, decided to let her off without a word, or cent.

now, a few things are very weird.. 1) more ppl would agree to let a thief off after paying rather than arrest him. 2) persuasion from ppl of the same race is more effective. 3) chasing after a thief who stole from you is merciless. 4) sheng siong staff have no opinions of their own. 5) old ppl steal things never mind. 6) the crux of the matter is the value of the stolen stuff, and not the morality of the act itself. 7) the ratio of staff chasing after thief should be 1:1, and staff should not harm thief in the process of chasing, cos if the thief is old, it is cruel.

i think it's just absurd. if she didn't resist, they didn't have to use force. if she didn't run, she didn't have to resist. if she didn't steal, she didn't have to run. if she could offer to pay after that, she didn't have to steal! and if you're a staff and you're one of them who saw her steal, would you just calmly continue to give change and print receipt?? what has it got to do with the staff? their reactions were perfectly logical to the action! did they really negate the fact that she stole just because she resisted and thus they used force and thus it seemed that the whole situation seemed cruel and lacked humanity? my goodness..

this has been a very strange night..

first 6-day wk..

2008-02-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

went to see joel audition for one million star season 3 jus now..feel so proud of him..not many ppl have the confidence to sing in front of so many ppl! but anyway, they're only picking 20% of those who sang..and there were alotof previous campus/project superstar and superband ppl...spoil market..so he didn't get in..but all the same..participating is v li hai alr! ^^ was so excited and nervous for him jus now..haha..silly me..

qi zai is $69.90 at this shop called seecret in far east...zomg..but it really is life-size..and life-like..apparently in hk it's only available at HK$90 after accumulating purchases of HK$500...so jus divide everything by 5 and u get the sgd equivalent..anyway, the shopowner was so surprised that so many ppl go to her shop to see the qi zai..apparently this post in hardwarezone made her shop famous..now the waiting list is erm..i dunno how many pages long..so anyway, she has a direct liaison with the hk supplier...but at a higher price...so that's the justification for selling it at $69.90..i think it's 7"? in hk and tw ppl can get the 3" at $2.50 with a kfc meal..why doesn't singapore have anything? i feel like i'm buying everything from overseas..my clothes, my havaianas, my papillios...only food cannot buy..if can i buy alr..

oh yes..i'm gg to start a new page in my blog called wishlist..and youjia's album will top it!! it will most probably come out in april..seems like no one can cfm..not the date, but whether there is an album at all -_- tsk tsk..操弄媒体..and..the list will also include havas..for which, i'm joining a spree alr acty..hehe..bling bling to the left..bling bling to the right..hoho ^^ i'm getting excited for sthg in april which might not happen..

peak period now...6-day working wk..my colleague says i'm talking to myself more often..haha..it's an inevitable habit..from influence left and right of me..oh well..work hard for these few months..gambatte..new colleagues coming in on monday..well done..come in during peak period..good luck..hoho..

anyone wants to watch sweeney todd and L change the world with me? ^^

happy vday in advance..

2008-02-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

why on earth do ppl start anti-vday movements? just be indifferent la! why must they be angry at couples just cos they're single? i don't see any non-mothers staging a protest against mothers' day... -_- ridiculous ppl..just wanna find sthg to do on vday is it..

and some attached ppl act so nonchalant abt it that it's quite irksome too..why must they announce proudly that they're not doing anything special on vday? does that show their relationship is of a certain maturity/stability level? does that show that your other half is so understanding? zzz..

same goes for ppl who are waiting to be asked out..rahhh..they're so thick-skinned..i dunno what hints they drop/things they do while waiting..i don't want to know..

it's just another day what! after vday, you are still you..if ppl liked you, they will still like you..if they hated you, it won't change also..having a date/not having a date/celebrating/not celebrating does not change anything..no meh?

i didn't know how to answer ppl when they ask me how i'm celebrating vday..why do they assume i'm celebrating in the first place? the truth is, the plan for thursday didn't surface till like, 6hrs ago..and we're going out on a day and time that we usually wouldn't..cos it's not exactly convenient..and we're gg to join the rest of singapore's couples in celebrating something which i'm just following the crowd for..

and why do i sound so reluctant? i'm not la, acty. i'm glad i'm gg out after work..gives me sthg to look fwd to during the day. if i've a choice, i'd go out everyday after work..just to catch up with ppl. but well, it's just a vday thing. i've dreaded vday more than i've liked it..and it's not dependent on whether i'm single or attached..it's more of whether i've company..cos if u dun have a date, u better go find/organise some girls' night out..i personally find that quite tiring..but bo bian..cos no one will be at home/gg home after work on vday..add in the restaurant, shopping mall, orchard, mrt crowd..nightmare..

what a long post on an indeterminate stand.

elogbook_Jan08

2008-02-01T21:08:00.001+08:00

in reverse chronological order, i...

- got food poisoning #$%^&*!@#
- celebrated ade's bday at Xin Wang Cafe
- fell in love with LG Viewty
- had a youjia songs kbox session
- bought shoes agn -_-

bleah....it's the soya bean milk from 'behind', the little eatery termed affectionately for its location relative to my building, grrrrrrr....that bastard uncle! gave me the cup of said milk which was on the counter, and not from like the fridge or the big oblong container, which means it could have been one or more of the following:
(i) a wrong order
(ii) left on the counter for an indefinite amt of time
(iii) in contact with insects flying by (think chikungunya!)
(iv) contaminated with anything passing above it e.g. dirty tablecloth, money, hands, whatever hands touched before, etc
(v) a part of biological warfare
(vi) more disgusting things

well, whatever it was, it was pretty potent..cos i felt dizzy within 1.5 hours, nauseous within the next, and had cold sweat and pale face in the next..which is half an hour before i knock off. so erm..i took a cab home..and it cost me a freaking $16 ok! (uncle! damn you!) that is not the end. the point where i finally puked, was when i tried to gulp water and medicine down, and i puked till i had convulsions, OKAY?? so...well i'm ok now..after a jab, and a day's rest..during which i had to rush my logbook entry out (grrr once agn!). but i dun think i can claim any of the expenses. SO, my conclusion is, i will never, ever drink from that stall agn, i hope the uncle has a cockroach in his breakfast, a lizard in his lunch, a centipede in his dinner and leeches in all his drinks, and that he breaks at least two rib bones when he pukes from hisfood poisoning. and then he will finally drown in contaminated soya bean milk. rahh!! so angry! and it wasn't even nice okay! it was tasteless!
-------------
xin wang cafe's menu is a good one man...makes you wanna try everything..cos they all look yummy...muz make sure you're not rushed for time when you wanna have a meal there...cos deciding what to eat can alr take 15-20 mins..hehe. or is it just me? =p

oh well, i had...cheese covered fish fillet baked rice i think...i mean...i think that's the name. not bad..but ade's looked better..same kinda rice, but with pork chop. that day's attendance consisted of me, her and rj. SIGH. everybody so busy. but nvm la...what's impt is bday girl is there. ade told me all the funny things that her dept ask her to do...and apparently it's a common practice in magazines...wahlao..laugh till i pengz..cannot disclose ar....PI website say one..cannot disclose company confidential info...muahahaha. it's so ridiculous and logic-defying..but yet it happens for the sake of convention...guess that's the reality of the working world...irrelevant documents...we have them too..just that they look more formal...and have a more dressed-up purpose..haha..that really was the highlight of the day..oh...and we all walked past the place where her present once was, which she refused to open until the real date.... -_-
-------------
LG Viewty!!! still have a big dilemma. grarh. should i or should i not..but the real prob is acty chging my number..which is an inevitable issue..but i like my number so much! wahlao. stupid starhub la! but what to do...it's a fact that their phones are the cheapest...
-------------
youjia youjia youjia~~ finally experienced singing alongside you! and also why you love the songs you sing, so much! he's really a deep person...how to tell? cos nobody, not even the dunno how many thousands of fans who read his blog everyday, understand what he's saying..and is he acting only after he became famous? NO, cos all his entries, all the way from 2004 are like that. super kua zhang. all like lit essays or poems..sometimes abit -_- but nvm la..better than shallow or being a vase.. ^^
-------------
well...there's a new shoe shop at wisma and suntec called Schu, it's apparently quite famous in Philippines and..er..France? anyway..the price range is around topshop, zara..prettyfit? and the quality is good..i bought a pair of pumps...seemingly overpriced for its simple design but i rather spend more money on sthg that i know cfm wun bite my heel..had enough of lousy shoes..

so..that ends my logbook entry from where i stopped.. (:

working life...

2008-01-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

你眼睛会笑弯成一道桥
终点却是我永远到不了
感觉你来到是风的呼啸
思念像苦药竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什么都不要
知不知道若你懂我这一秒
我想看到我在寻找
那所谓的爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠紧紧拥抱
不敢漏掉一丝一毫
愿你看到
愿你看到

is it the norm to write abt the most superficial and tangible stuff abt our lives in our blogs? like, i'm working now..so i write abt working life..i'm studying now..so i talk abt my lab and lectures stuff..i'm on holiday now..so i talk abt my outings and gatherings..is there really nothing else that happened, that was not as dry as that? we experience emotions everyday, not just events..so what happened to them? the answer to that, is..a blog is just a record book for most...an organizer where u write down what happened..and not a diary..where u pour all your excitement and grievances into it..so in the end there really is nothing much in a blog, isn't it?

the song above is sang by my youjia and kangkang in one of the xing guang eps...sob..so touched by my youjia...he sing so much better than the original singer.. (:'_')

oh well....this wk was relaxed and fun..everyone felt the same way...really love my neighbours..wouldn't have adapted so well without them...i won't wanna sit anywhere else man..but one of them moving desk...RAH..will miss her...though technically is just a phone call or scan card away....but it's still not very possible to call or go over all the time rite..with her beside me i can just turn and talk..oh well...let's hope the next neighbour is nice too...i wouldn't say better..hoho..cos they're really the best bunch of colleagues i've met in a long time ^^ now i really dun regret gg to my company at all..but whether i wanna make it my career...hmmmmm...still a consideration..

but still miss school....for the cheap and nice food, for the homely feeling, for the short and flexible hours...and not for the stress...bleah..k la..both have their merits...

and i'm being so fu yan cos my show start liao....wanna watch it..haha..till the next time..

i can't take my eyes off your last order, blue creep...

2008-01-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

如果没有我爱的人的背影把我灌醉，我就是一只在悬崖走钢索的鱼，到不了那些日子。。

那首梁山伯与茱丽叶的歌是我的眼，你快乐所以我快乐。。

18 song names in 3 lines! wahaha...my infatuation with youjia has gone rather overboard... ^^

views..perspectives..

2008-01-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

i just did sthg mad. but whatever. when am i not.

what's harder, stopping yourself from doing sthg you want to, or go all out to realize what you want? believe it or not..the former is way. harder. maybe it's even a paradox in itself, why would you stop yourself from doing sthg you want? cos it's a bad thing. and it's in the best interest of everyone that it's not done.

it's decided. and final. thanks angel..for cementing it...

my new love

2008-01-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

背影
演唱：林宥嘉
作詞：藍小邪　作曲：關大州　編曲：洪信傑　製作：王治平

三公分陽光　三公分空氣　
堵在眼前　像一面玻璃
擋住了妳表情　剩下只有腳印
一直向前走　走不完距離　
一直向後　退不出回憶
很高興有心事　幫我困住自己

妳頭髮上淡淡青草香氣　
變成了風才能和我相遇
妳的目光　蒸發成雲　
再下成雨我才能夠靠近

感謝我不可以　住進妳的眼睛　
所以才能　擁抱妳的背影
有再多的遺憾　用來牢牢記住　
不完美的所有美麗

感謝我不可以　擁抱妳的背影　
所以才能　變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落　不用妳回頭看　不用珍惜
（躲在安靜角落　如果妳回頭看　不用在意）

我懷裡所有溫暖的空氣　
變成風也不敢和妳相遇
我的心事　蒸發成雲　
再下成雨卻捨不得淋溼妳

i think the tendency to think too much comes with age. i'm torturing myself more by thinking more than i should..thinking abt dumb things..things that i shouldn't think abt..and intangible things. it's a matter of perspective..it might be an utterly insignificant thing, or it could be a matter of much consequence. i dunno. see? i've never stopped thinking unnecessarily..

some things..i've thought it thru and sorted it out..but it always ends up in a mental war between my rational and emotional side..most of the time the rational side wins la...i'm a taurean after all...but of cos it takes more effort..quite tired..

on the train home, was listening to youjia's songs..what else..and i think my ipod is becoming more psychic...good ipod..plays the songs in a nice order..in tandem to my thoughts..i think my youjia craze is going to last for sometime..let me just indulge in some fantasy once in a while..

if only we have the power to be telepathic..to send thoughts to whoever we want..maybe the world would be a nicer and easier place to live in...so many misunderstandings arise and so many regrets pass us by cos of things unsaid..most of the time it's not a matter of whether we want to say it..of cos we do..but we don't have the right timing, right place, right mood...oh well...that's kinda matt's power reversed...sending out instead of receiving thoughts...

愛
演唱：莫文蔚/林宥嘉
曲︰陳曉娟詞︰李焯雄

你還記得嗎　記憶的炎夏
散落在風中的已蒸發
喧嘩的都已沙啞

沒結果的花　未完成的牽挂
我們學會許多說法
來掩飾不碰的傷疤

因為我會想起你　我害怕面對自己
我的意志　總被寂寞吞食
因為你總會提醒　過去總不會過去
有種真愛不是我的

假如我不曾愛你　我不會失去自己
想念的刺　釘住我的位置
因為你總會提醒　盡管我得到世界
有些幸福不是我的

你還記得嗎　記憶的炎夏
我終於沒選擇的分岔
最後又有誰到達

工作，念书，傻傻分不清楚。。

2008-01-07T21:47:00.001+08:00

耶~~今天终于有在做工的感觉。。好刺激! 也不知道为什么，早上在地铁上莫名地鼓励起自己，跟自己说今天会比昨天好。。跟着心情也好转了。。竟然变期待了起来！看着四周围济济一堂的上班族，发现他们都好麻木，对上班这件事毫无兴趣。。我就忽然觉得好幸运哦。。我做半年的工就可以回去念书了。。这六个月也算是个新鲜的体验吧！仔细想想，不管是读书还是做工，我都还蛮喜欢的，而且是读书的时候喜欢读书，做工的时候喜欢做工，哈哈。。太不可思议了。。我几时变得这么乐观啊? 也许是同事改变了我一些些吧，虽然他们全部都有做不完的工作，但还是没有忽略我，他们让我觉得我们都一样，在替同一个人打工，让我在老板的面前没那么孤单。。没那么害怕。。办公室里人多，能观察到的人也当然多，从这短短的几天，就能看出每个人之间的关系，跟大概的性格和地位。。这样就可以少说错话啦。和往常一样，第一印象永远都是不准的。。一开始越不起眼的，往往是越重要和越没有心机的。。越友善的，才是要提防的。。一句话。。i love my neighbours ^^ 希望我们永远是 neighbours。。她们真的是超可爱的~

一开始不怎么期待的PI, 变成现在越来越起色的每一天, 这难道真的是应验了 if it's the worst, it can only get better 的道理吗? ^^

BaoBam's first bday!

2008-01-06T22:46:00.002+08:00

bombie was so kind..he came over specially to crossover with bb! though we missed it by 20mins eating supper..but still..i'm sure my kind ol' bb wun mind! so happy! my bear is one year old!

the blonde bear is BaoBamBam, or as bombie calls him, Triple B..the bear with a pink scarf is Towel..and the seal is BaoSeal.. xD

-hops around in glee-

will post photos of the big bear union when i'm free..bedtime!

Paid Isolation

2008-01-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

bleah. that's really what i've been doing for the past 3 wkdays..being paid and isolated..cos everyone else is just too busy to bother abt me..and i've no fellow sg interns to..i dunno..while time away with. i mean, it's not their fault..they're all nice ppl who try to be as nice as possible to a new intern..when they're taking a break from their never-ending work..so..oh well..i'm sure i'll grow to love them (: just hope i can contribute to the office as much as they do!

well..this is a rather apt situation of "i've nothing for you to do, but i don't wanna see u surf meaningless websites and/or chat on msn, and i expect you to find sthg to do to show me. after all u're paid to do work. i don't care how, u just gotta deal with it" kinda working life. ah well, the best i've come up with, is CNA website. i've never read so much news at one sitting in my life.

hope the wks to come will be better..trust me, i'd rather be doing OT than waste my time away worrying abt whether what i'm surfing is monitored or deemed inappropriate or wondering what to do for the next hour..pls give me some work to do!

tuition! tatas..

just a new year...

2008-01-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

an sms from a friend turned my mood quite solemn..on the eve of my PI..guess she's not gg for hers anytime soon..but i do hope she can recover from the loss asap..and face the other things in her life as bravely agn.

maybe i've too little or small things on my mind..it's things like these that remind me what i've been thinking a minute ago was so insignificant..getting nervous abt PI, what i'm gna do tmr, what i'm gna wear..it's all just abt tmr..guess we never really think abt what really matters until things force us to..

on a different note, maybe i don't matter at all..the people, the things i regard impt may not see me in the same light..i didn't want to have that thinking..but i guess now i have no choice..

2nd last day of the year

2007-12-30T12:14:00.000+08:00

and i didn't even realise it. i've been complaining blindly abt having nothing to do this hols tt i didn't even register i have, in fact, been going out almost everyday..until my ez-link card curtly runs out of value a tad too frequently. oh well. i guess ppl are just more sensitive to the bad things in life than the good. but i'm just slightly confused on how i can rmb things that didn't happen more than things that did. shrugs.

i went Aston's Specialties ytd..it's this super duper highly rated restaurant in katong..right opp katong mall..that sells restaurant-standard steaks, spaghettis, seafood, poultry and salad at super affordable prices...the kind of prices that u wun believe..but anyway, some of their food is really better than kenny rogers...and they pay attn to every dish, every sauce...no matter main course or side dish...it's so popular that it's forever full house that kind of thing..so..zhanie!! have u gone there alr?? go google them and find their blog..the pictures really do justice to the food ^^ this restaurant really reminds me of Little Bear in 美味关系..hoho..the service is crazy! the boss acty transferred us from a 2-person table to a 4-person booth! omg..and it's not like the restaurant has plenty of seats tt kind..it's packed..like always..but prob cos we arrived right after the ppl at the booth left..and it's cooler..omg..and he's forever walking around to serve ppl, to ask them if they need anything..and there's no service charge! crazy..really crazy..how come places with no service charge makes ppl feel that there's better service?? cafe cartel is the same thing..the staff are like super helpful...

watched so many movies this month...enchanted, golden compass, warlords, legend, erm..did i miss out anything? dun think so..i shd be broke enough after all these. they're all great, except for compass..which is in the same league as narnia..which i just can't appreciate..maybe i'm not literary enough but well..i just can't understand what's the significance of the events man. argh. maybe ppl just have to read the books before they hit the cinemas.

3 days to start of PI..someone tell me what to expect..

in a nutshell

2007-12-28T15:25:00.001+08:00

i'm kinda glad i didn't S/U anything..that i pushed and forced myself to pia for an extra 3 AUs when i could have taken the easier way out..that i got the outcome i wanted..which is an improvement of my gpa by not S/U-ing anything..

and i feel that by not gg exchange..which is a very tempting thought..it has paid off..cos i've long realised exchange is for zai ppl who wants to maintain their godly gpa..and since i'm not one of them i need to stay in ntu to strive for a better score.. (: to all those ppl who say results are not all-impt, i agree with u..but all of u who has ever said that happen to be ultra zai ppl..is that a coincidence?

overally, i'm happy with my results...and i'm still in shock abt my 301. pls pardon me. it really was one of the most unbelievable experiences of my life. beams.

and since rj talked abt her remaining 43 AUs or sthg, i went to check too..and it's cfmed that my calculations some mths back were correct..that i only have 16AUs to clear in the whole of yr4..woohoo! no wonder stars says that i'm a final yr student alr! i'm as free as a final yr student gg to sem 2..haha..but i'll prob make tt 18AUs..i wanna continue my jap and korean! hehe..can't help it..i'm just damn asian..

spree items arrived! more working clothes to my collection! muz sort out working clothes from my wardrobe one day for organization. xD

will post pics of my entire bear collection soon..never knew i had so many till i dug them all out..and that's just bears only..all the dogs, ducks, pigs, tigers, elmo and other monsters are still waiting..wahaha..i'm rather shocked myself..

this has been a very beary christmas..bombie gave me BaoBamBam and Towel to join the family, tuition kid jessie gave me a pooh bear, and cherie gave me a koala bear! or rather, the head of a koala bear :s other soft toys include a tiger Raa Raa and a monsterish hp accessory..will take pics and post them up soon..esp BaoBamBam and Towel! i think they're just so hyper abt joining the big family.. (:

what a large nutshell..

results, then process

2007-12-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

yup, after seeing my results, then i started to process HOW i got them. omg. most of them tallied or were better than my expectations..with maybe exception of 333. but argh, when u take 6 heavy modules out of which 5 has projects, ie uncertain grades, something has to give.

301 is totally a miracle..it's just a more menacing 201 repeating itself..so i'm really puzzled over whether msn personal msgs has revealed its magical powers once agn. but anyway, like i said before..since i got B for my 50% proj, i must have gotten A- for my 50% exam paper, of which 60 marks of it came entirely from my head..not from any notes whatsoever, cos he didn't SET that 60m qn based on any of his notes. so, that A- is really a miracle. REALLY. either that, or i've learnt to smoke my way thru better. woohoo. well, it really was a world away from 201..seeing how terrifying it is..going into the exam hall with no clue whatsoever abt what this whole module is abt!! oh well..so i suppose those who got A+ for their proj got some form of A overall? good for them..

333 is argh..SUAY. just suay. we know u're slack. no, we know WHEN u're slack. but u can't shirk ur responsibilities rite! what were u thinking, flying off before u even checked whether ur brainless TA has been marking with his mouth, instead of his eyes or head..did u even see his blind comment agn? and i mean literally blind, cos he always points things out that aren't there, fail to see things which are, and connects the wrong label to the wrong object. -_- don't masters students need some form of vision capability and brainpower?? zzz.

as usual, i'm rather chilled by the last sentence of the results page. if u mean it's gna chg for the better, ie if i go appeal, den..ok lor. but my A-'s...don't even think abt them..i deserve them..though i'm rather disappointed i didn't get A for jap..boo..korean repeated itself...sigh..

ok, that's abt it for the rather rollercoastery nite last nite. and thanks stars, for letting us experience a virtual jam once agn! woots! we love u stars! but i'll be rid of u for one whole sem! why does that sound like good news??

a random thought

2007-12-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

i've observed that some ppl with the same bday as each other have similar personality traits..which might or might not be attributed to coincidence. but it's limited to ppl of the same gender though. like, doesn't work for a guy and a girl with same bday. oh well. does anyone else think so? too bad i dunno anyone with my bday personally..or i could have a feel of how i feel like. hurhur.

yay, collecting spree stuff tmr. whee. like, finally! ordered before exams can! that's like 2 months..

22.5 more hours to countdown to bombie's arrival! yay!

a blinding beam...

2007-12-22T14:04:00.000+08:00

i scoff at GEMS! which means Go the Extra Mile for Service. as if! they wun even take another step with you if you don't decide to buy their stuff immediately after like some conclusive action, eg discussing with ur fren, trying out (clothes), looking around the whole shop. sure they would GEMS, but only if you purchase sthg. i really think this GEMS thing is icing without the cake. without basic courtesy, what use is going the extra mile for service? and i may be wrong, but it's more often the bosses that are hostile than the employees..i can understand cos it directly affects their income but isn't the logic all wrong?? if customers are giving u ur bread, shdn't u want them to keep coming back? but instead, it's the employees, who do not have to care how much sales is made tdy, who have no direct relationship with the shop, who are making an effort! argh, and i conclude that shops everywhere in sg, no matter street shopping aka bugis, variety shopping aka far east and branded shopping aka taka are all selling stuff at the same price ranges..despite disparities in quality. and beware of middle-aged bosses in far east and bugis. they are the WORST. i will not shop there for a long time.

i noticed...that singapore is turning into a miniature china. and it's changing so fast that we can't expect these ppl to adapt to our lifestyle, but instead we have to get used to having them around. i still do not think the stereotypes abt them are patronising..after these few yrs. cos i really haven't met a single one, despite the many i meet everyday, that can change my opinion abt them. surely they should have realised the proper volume of talking, the meaning of hygiene and the kind of basic courtesy here? i used to think that it would be a natural process of minority adapting..but looking at things now, who will be the minority in the future still leaves room to be seen. why can't more taiwan ppl move here instead! they are the same in every sense of appearance, but their lifestyle is so much more preferable. i really miss the people and service in taiwan!

anyway, i went xmas shopping ytd..and i adore them! let's hope the recipients like them as much too. hope i got enough. beams! was so amused by sthg i read in someone's blog..and i've picked it up! i less than three my xmas presents! though i still prefer heart. grins.

sthg mind-boggling occurred ytd..that yanfang can testify to. but i concluded it was an utterly insignificant event. until now, at least. i can finally tell myself i'm not a confused person..and i know exactly what it feels like to have no chemistry. (which, is a subject i can't fathom. shrugs.) at least this kinda proves that i'm quite rational. and i know exactly how i feel. great! i shall doubt my emotions no longer. beams!

bombie will be back 29 hours later! yay..though i alr know what my xmas present is..wahaha..it's green, cold, smooth and worn around the wrist. though it should have been brown. but nvm! cos bombie bought it! grins! -chokes bombie in a strangling hug- my present for him ain't all that wise either. muahaha. but..it's fun!

some blogs are funny instruments, the more you check for updates, the more void of them it is. click on them on a random day, and suddenly the owner has said so much. =S

love catching up with old friends. (:

amazing hols

2007-12-22T14:03:00.000+08:00

pulsing, acty, with periods of activity and in-. don't think i've had such an aimless hols before. maybe it's just right before i plunge myself into the world of 9 to 6, 5 days a wk. shudders.

it wasn't long before i was reminded agn, how restrictive working life is. no more 3- or 4-day wks, no more 4-hr lunch breaks, or aftn naps in btw lessons, or having the start of the day at noon. damn. think i'm just gna work and sleep for the whole 6 months. i so very need it.

hmm. saw kenny's yunnan shirt when htg went out tt day. it says sthg like sees the unseen, hears the unheard, touches the untouched. how difficult that would be. but it is so very heartwarming if anyone could. (: and very much wished for.

oh well..i didn't blog cos i didn't know when to start. in fact, i haven't written what has happened in my hols yet. haha. i suppose when stuff happens, there wasn't time to record it and when it's over, so is the mood to tell abt it. or maybe, i just don't wanna talk abt it. bleah.

it's just...some things are best left unspoken..and felt with the heart. sometimes that's the point. if it has to be vocalised, it would have been better off left as a doubt..a mystery..or a possibility. does anyone know what i'm talking abt? haha. well anyway, that's when speculating is better than asking. xD

xmas is coming~ and so is the end of hols. perhaps i do wanna start being busy and getting buried in work and stress and not have an idle mind. cos it's so very dangerous. argh. so maybe all the things i've done/not done during this period of time was an illusion. that's not really me. bleah. i need to focus my purpose in life.

so there. this post serves nothing but to warn myself not to have such an empty hols ever agn. if there will be another one. sigh. grad yr is scary. i dun wanna face it. hiro! stop time!

yay!! i have a baobambam!! thanks bombie! xD

why speculate? just ask! (chia, 2007)

2007-12-07T12:45:00.000+08:00

i wonder if i keep chging blogs to reduce readership. or if i'm just plain fickle-minded. but why, that's not a taurean at all! zz.

oh well..it's not only exams that i dread..now that it's the hols, there comes a whole new lot of things that i would choose not to face..all to do with ppl. sometimes, it would be so much easier if ppl would just say out straight, what they're really thinking. why is there so much speculation?? i pride myself on being quite accurate with reading ppl. and when it comes to some ppl, i wish it weren't true. all that reluctance, and all that procrastination..is what i think really what it is? but sometimes, i care too much to be angry..though it's not very obvious. i guess some ppl just have more commitments than others..

with a rough calculation, i've attended close to twenty 21st bday parties this yr..i've spent like close to $500 on presents alone..what an expensive yr..well we all feel it..but it's not that i mind..bday parties = gatherings and gatherings = bonding. so.. (:

ay..sang xl's song in kbox tdy..and cos that made me think of xl, i was reminded of sthg i read in a blog regarding the death of a guy from aj..that the coffin looked so small for him. amazingly..that was the exact same thought i had with xl..how could he have fit in..but well..the truth doesn't sink in unless we keep on being reminded..and the concept of death just doesn't quite register at the wake yet. i rmb i was so shocked that ppl are talking and laughing at the table, like it's a typical gathering place..but now i think abt it..i guess we all can't register the fact yet that we were there cos a fren had passed away..too sudden..

ok..a rather abrupt change of mood there i realised..oh well..nothing much has been happening..sad to say..but i foresee a wk of outings either next or next next wk..a torrent of outings..and spendings...noooooo..

going, going, gone!

2007-11-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

exams..the most torturous, painful and slow-crawling wk of my life is over. OVER! and i'm done with NTU! for EIGHT WHOLE MONTHS! gone are the non-existent shuttle buses (do not doubt the logic of this sentence)! gone are the impossibly steep contours to climb! and gone are the cockups of the various ntu offices! YAY! though i'll miss my cs frens, food and aircon room in ntu, but i'm also looking forward to amoy and tg pagar food! woohoo..overall, good riddance..for 8 mths. i'm finally leading a life. beyond the boundaries of pulau ntu. (:

in yahoo, ebay and mocca auctions/classifieds..for a cheap ticket to taipei. haha. i'm fine with not going, really. if i can't find a ticket. but bombie's whole family is gg..with free SIA tickets! wails! hoping to buy some krisflyer miles or sthg. or some last-minute cmi jetstar ticket. hehez.

yes i know i'm very slow..i'm watching heroes season 1. but they're slowly but surely depleting. i will catch up! and i HAVE to catch up on my naruto too. AND get my hands on some south park. and my dear channel 55...yay..love being spoilt for choice for stuff to watch. speaking of which, i'm stuck between enchanted and lust caution! ok..i think i want enchanted more, really..but i've yet to catch an R21 movie and lust caution makes a great first! cos....tony leung!! hk version of laogong..swoons..

for the whole of exam period i was hooked onto jay chou's movie Secret and its ost. like, i'll keep going to the 斗琴 scene and watch it over and over. haha, ok..what's up with me. well...ESCAPISM, that's what! and then it was Heroes, when it has finished downloading. heh.

in the span of one month, 2 donut shops have opened in bedok central..and they're totally tempting me! one is just directly downstairs and i can smell it from my hse sometimes lor! argh. but NO. i swore not to be part of the donut crowd..cos..cos it just doesn't make sense. no. i will not. why doesn't anyone have the sense to open a stationery shop here for a change!!

from hall 16..i've moved home! with my dearest BaoBam..i'm sure he was rather excited in the cab ride just now. and once agn i'm surer than ever that he would attract more attn than a cheerleader with regenerative abilities.

was looking at 特務J lyrics..and there's this line (which is now my msn nick):
愛情有十誡戒懶戒自卑戒悶戒愛現戒膚淺
愛情有十誡戒宅戒失戀戒煙戒永遠沒主見

let's have a checklist for myself.
1. 戒懶: er, no. as lazy as before.
2. 戒自卑: yup, a little.
3. 戒悶: hmm..quite true, but sometimes it's the other way round..
4. 戒愛現: never was..haha.
5. 戒膚淺: not true! still as 膚淺 as ever!
6. 戒宅: does that mean dun stay at home as often? if yes then it's true..
7. 戒失戀: weird logic..and nope.
8. 戒煙: not applicable.
9. 戒永遠: hmm..not very applicable too.
10.(戒)沒主見: not accurate..in fact it has worsened..

so..this checklist has a 30% relevance for me. how lousy! or am i just too eccentric! haha. shd get bombie to do it too.

lastly, people are finally coming back!! my 2 meis are back! yayyy. time of the year agn to be surrounded by pseudo family! roxy.

can't-mug fever

2007-11-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

strangely enough...i've caught it. i invented the term anyway..thru my observations of ppl around me. everyone's not mugging! i feel like i've used up all my mugging fuel for 301 that there's none left..no motivation to mug for the rest of the 5 papers on which i've placed higher hopes on. especially since it was so bad..my worst exam in my whole 2.5 yrs in ntu ever. i hope i'm not subconsciously slipping into depression cos of this..cos i've been rather numb abt it lately..not expressing or experiencing any disappointment or crushed feelings for such a significant failure. oh well. ok. i know..i gotta focus and finish the rest of my 4 papers with great expectations.

such cold days..and nights..i go everywhere with a jacket..and brolly. so troublesome..hate rain during daytime..

plus the aircon in exam halls is like free one lor..i seriously wanna petition that it affects our performance! how to write when your hands are numb and cannot move anymore! either you provide gloves, or open your eyes wide and see all the trembling bodies!

moderation is good. extremism, BADDDDDD.

我喜欢。。

2007-11-20T22:44:00.000+08:00

静静一个人，躺在床上发呆。。
手持一本好书，读到不想睡觉。。
沉浸在剧情里面，死都不出来。。
发现有趣的广告，启发自己。。
抱着一只大大的熊，静思将来。。
和朋友相约，玩到疯。。
只做自己喜欢做的事的自由。。
在我累的时候，被放飞机。。
下雨的晚上，又不用早起的隔天。。
把所有的不开心，交给工作麻木。。
在考试期间，计划考完后的事。。
双方逃避的问题，美丽的回忆。。

真可惜，真可怜。能同时间拥有以上两个情形，已经很求之不得了。想到以前错过的自由，还真不值得。。算了。。就努力珍惜现在仅有的吧！

有些人变得好快。。能影响他的人，还真不是普通的厉害。。

u're stunning,

2007-11-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

301. so stunning that time stopped when i read the 1st qn of the exam paper, which is 60 marks and i have no idea what to write. it can be regarded as the most memorable paper of my life man. the extent of its broadness and all-encompassing-ness and thus dunno what is in the scope, that even if it were open book time would still have stopped. see you agn next yr, 301. together with 401.

zhanie. during our lunch. u never fail to live up to your name of never fail to give ppl surprises as to what u do/say/think. woohoo.

can a. with the amt of notes and books and lappies ppl piled on ur tables on sunday nite. how could u stand all that stress??

301 examiner. for when u spoke for the first time, it was time to start alr! fastest exam speech ever.

oas. for giving me 3 5pm papers. well done..

my 301 notes. for being called a stack by ishani when it's not even 1cm thick! and was not of much use for this paper anyway. damnit.

pebbles. for spacing out so much.

irritated

2007-11-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

cos i just finished doing one of the world's most meaningless tasks..deleting slides cos the inconsiderate person who did it somehow has such lack of proficiency in ms ppt that he did not use transitions..so i chopped off abt 75% of the ppt..which still remains at 9.94MB!!

besides exasperation for such lack of ethics..since it's so obvious he didn't do the slides himself..the respect for duffy has just abt increased tenfold..i bet he did what i just did like for all the 10 ppts..sniff..and thinking abt how much more he has to tolerate and interact with tt person than us, i just feel we're more understood..thank you duffy!! i hope no one googles your name and find this!

ok..and happy bday sharon!

i'm paranoid

2007-11-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

alternating between feeling accomplished and panic. since the gauge for whether i'm studying too slowly sometimes depends on the amt of time i ration for it, and sometimes on hearing abt ppl's progress. thanks to zhanie's kind info that she's going for a play AND bday celeb AND tennis, i feel less sinful gg to sharon's bday celebration. haha. what a weak defense.

PR ppl are really different! they're all cheery and well-mannered and u wonder if they ever have bad days. but it's comforting, at least. i mean, there's no reason here to wonder if it's genuine. sincerity doesn't apply to strangers.

i was a true mugger for the whole of last night, and it was partly due to the PR person that lifted my spirits and also clarified stuff. see the good side of PR! but i'm still fiercely passionate abt advertising. like, i feel a strange pride for OpenAd.net...shudders.

nvm. back to mugging! oh, and PI is a headache for everyone!

what is this!

2007-11-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

"This will be a godsend for many financially troubled television groups and commercial networks."

"Adobe-Macromedia Flash technology makes it possible to embed video both within web sites as well as within custom applications such as RSS readers and aggregators as well as within customisable widgets of any kind as well as within traditional desktop applications."

"Flash is everywhere, and with its own sets of idiosyncrasies and limitations Flash video does work."

i thought journalists are supposed to be objective and credible and have better English than the rest of us??

just tell me agn, why we can't stop getting personal?!

well done

2007-11-12T02:56:00.000+08:00

i'm even more clueless studying for 301 than when i studied for 201. there's no relevant exam paper to refer to, no exam tips, prose ppts and tons of guest lectures that more promotes their company than acty give a lecture - in short, no shortcuts or guides to narrow down the impt topics/chapters/points. well! how great is that! and i'm blogging when i shd really be eating the book! rah.

not that i'm complaining. the mugging momentum is picking up as the night progresses. i guess i do need a really quiet environment. maybe i shd join the club..and reverse my days and nights.. :( but i dun drink coffee! how am i supposed to survive without sleep.

it's a curious phenomenon how i try and distract myself from studying. right now i can just think of infinite things to do but study. but once the exams are over, they are just mysteriously forgotten. strange way the mind works! shd take up a course in psych and find out why.

watched the shopaholic movie with cecilia chung just now..and i just dun understand how that psychologist thinks, making 4 going-to-be-married ppl drive all around hk just to find out who they really wanna marry -_- if u watched the show before u'll know what i'm talking abt. see! i watched a movie! and not only that. i watched hard candy on comp too. damn scary, kids nowadays! ok i know it's fantasy but still! O_O and saw4 is coming out. i haven't finish watching saw3 yet, cos i stopped at a particularly gory scene. such disappointing behaviour! i think my gore tolerance is getting weaker. damn. so maybe it's an indicator that i'm not ready for saw4 =(

and, i'm quite sure i need to curb my spree addiction. before i go broke. nevertheless, BIGI, Xiaomei, Joyce Shop and Maz Yang are my favourites! can google them to check them out! can't stop drooling at their stuff! ooh..another escapism activity revealed..

i'm quite happy that i took the modules i took this sem, but for the wrong reasons. not cos i truly like them, but cos the others are horrible - incompetent lecturers, spoil market ppl, same course content but more demanding projects..i've heard it all..i hope. so anyway, maybe exams are another thing. (had to put a disclaimer here. karma works in strange ways!)

and i think i do belong to my division. the madness is just abt on par as mine. wahaha. and the slackness. and everything else.

good news: i've removed the song that has deterred visitors! now who exactly is this news going out to, if they all don't return already?

2007-11-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes, answered questions just bring abt a new set of questions.

yes, m&c saatchi has finally finally called..but how will the interview turn out?

yes, most of the projects have ended without glitches..but what are their outcomes?

yes, i've secured a company for phase 1..but do i really want it?

yes, i know of more 1st class and dean's list ppl..but is it better if i didn't?

acty i applied to m&c saatchi to have a shot..never really expected anything. the only reason i applied is if i don't try, i'll never know..if i can have a chance. such lack of ambition? whatever. i'm sick of competition. all the high level ppl, pls go away.

i'm really tired. all the effort, all the doing without complaining toleration, and all the time and money apent..are all false hopes..get personal all u want. i can't be bothered.

in fact, i've been totally impulsive this sem. i devote everything to what i like and neglect everything that i don't like. and right now, i just feel like skipping over the exams so i don't have to take them. because i know my fate for this sem has just abt sealed.

to be absolutely random, i hate boon lay mobs. argh why is there SO MANY PPL at all times of the day?? it takes so long to get anywhere!! it's prob one of the last places i wanna live in.

such lack of life..to be talking abt nothing but school. but that's cos i've let projs, assignments and readings take over my life. can't complain now, can i?

someone! tell me precisely what to do. i don't wanna stand ambiguity anymore.

i guess i'm fine. i'm just an angry student. but otherwise i'm a person-to-be..after nov 27th.

我本来以为...

2007-10-24T01:02:00.000+08:00

我本来以为责任很重要，但上了301后，才知道原来不重要。。
我本来以为形象很重要，但认识了zhanie后，才知道原来不重要。。
我本来以为成绩很重要，但教了补习后，才知道原来不重要。。
我本来以为爱情很重要，但我现在知道，爱情没有比维持重要。。
我本来以为钱很重要，但用时间换来的钱，我宁愿不要。。

我本来以为人的自大是有限的，但其实没有。。
我本来以为我的忍耐是有限的，但其实还可以再忍。。
我本来以为我没有那么cui，但其实我有。。

我本来以为我已经熬过最惨的sem了，但其实每个sem都一样难熬。。
我本来以为我已经尽力了，但别人的力总是比我多。。
我本来以为我们可以spoil market，但其实我们就是那个被spoil的。。

所以，我现在以为saatchi很重要，那以后是不是也会变成不重要？？？

我觉得，我们快要窒息了...

2007-10-19T20:25:00.000+08:00

because of the never-ending projects and multiple deadlines in a project. it's kind of the profs to keep on extending the deadlines..i think we all appreciate that. but this sem seems to be particularly crazy..everyone has like at least 4 projects on hand..or the equivalent workload of it. since rj and zhanie blogged abt it..it triggered me off to talk abt how ke lian we are. i mean, it's not just them..not just ebm..nearly everyone i know is up to the eyebrow with work. can't they just understand us like duffy does???

and there is the problem of communication within groupmates. everyone has this problem. sometimes i'm so pissed that i just blank out and not think anymore. ok..maybe sometimes ppl offend me unknowingly..maybe we're all too stressed..that's why i think keeping my opinions to myself will just help the situation more than anything. i just hope it ends soon for me. i shall just conclude that all the problems arises because we all have different expectations for the project.

AND there will be the spoil mkt ppl. obviously we all want to spoil mkt. who doesn't? but sigh, when u're in a group where everyone is somehow more focused on their other projects, this is what happens..u will not spoil mkt. not that i have the right to complain..since i'm not zai enough to make the project better..but well..priorities are different.

i sometimes wonder if my first impression of ppl are wrong. cos after i know them better, they don't act like what i expected them to..or even like what other ppl make them out to. either i'm really wrong abt them, or they really persist to the end..to be a hypocrite.

i just feel so suffocated. this whole sem is such a terrible time. feel stressed for myself and my friends. everyone spends all their time in school, or shooting, or doing project, or completing their assignments. i feel like such a slacker. cos i dun slog as much and when i do, i do it in hall. -_-

to my dear friends..jia you! 4 more wks! endure!

it's official.

2007-10-08T10:09:00.000+08:00

this is now my phone!! wahaha. and all the plastic layers are still on. cos the surface is ultra easily scratched. not that i have. but well..gotta buy protectors! was deciding between:

aka Value-for-Money, Form, Function, Vanity. and function kinda triumphs hands down. yes i know, i'm a sucker for sony ericsson phones. cos all the other phones are cmi to me. (wow, i sound like my suspicious A/P!). other than LG cos LG is WHOA..you just forget whether it even works cos the chioness just blows you away. and ALL their phones HAVE to be like that. or is it cos LG is korean? hahaha. i'm utterly biased.

yes..and other than screen protectors i need a hp pouch. anyone??

speechless

2007-10-04T16:01:00.000+08:00

yes, i am. by how wholesale one of my lectures is from a certain book. and the lecturer certainly did not write it. so it's not even self-plagiarism. and to add on to the atrocity, he couldn't even explain the points in his slides when a qn was raised! haiz. i am SO looking forward to the 2wks that he's not coming. someone shd stop supplying coke to our sch. maybe then he would have lost the incentive to come! better yet..someone seek help from the vice-chair! sigh. crap man.

and..i have to go for lessons. yes, i was that pissed.

1 off the wishlist!

2007-10-04T08:52:00.000+08:00

cos i found my hinata keychain! yay!!!

advertising and copywriting is killing me.