for the future me

i think the saying of "if you want something badly enough, you will do anything to get it" kinda explains why i was extra pia this sem..so much so until the most resounding thought i had after exams was: i'm still alive?

one of the first things i rmb abt cs and lcw is him telling us that we should always aim high so that if we don't reach it, at least we're still somewhere pretty high, as compared to aiming mediocrely and ending up worse than mediocre. i think it's quite true la. i mean, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, in a way. aim high, want it badly, do everything you can to get it, end up a bit lower than expectations but still pretty ok, gain confidence, aim higher. but anyway, i have the last-lap/last-minute adrenaline rush kinda studying/working/running mentality..when i know it's gonna be the last, i will have some unexplained rush of energy to complete it. that's why when i run, i keep on telling myself it's the last round. haha.

anyway, i've resumed working at my internship company. everyone was surprised to see me, as expected. but one of them asked why i zi tou luo wang..which i dunno how to answer. haha. now is the walk one step, look one step period ba i guess. all that's on my mind now is earning more $ during my free time for grad trip. career-hunting is not so much a priority cos 1. hard to find job, 2. it can be ongoing while i'm doing other stuff..so..as to whether i'm staying on there..it's the same reply: see how.

in summary, this sem is tiring..extremely tiring. we have all been overworked and still have to be subjected to the bell curve and told that it is the reality. but there have been fun times too. fun that can't be found in reality. so i guess i'm glad the fun was there to neutralise the suffering a little. and we will all miss mark and snuggles! sniff.

ラベル: innermost feeling, juicy update