for the future me

and this is definitely not a good time for it...considering i have my korean oral and listening test tmr, exam results release the day after and korean written exam next wk. and a grave problem weighing on my mind right now. but still..i need to do something. drama class has left me with one thing: when ppl are bored, they don't do nothing; they will do alotof things to try and relieve their boredom. and how this came abt was cos ppl normally have the tendency to portray a bored person by not doing anything..but acty if we had bothered to think deeper, realistic acting may be as simple as paying more attn to life, but sometimes it needs second thoughts as well.

yes, the above was not intended.

他篇
虽然事情已经过了那么久，而我也早已恢复并重拾心情，但还是会时不时想问候你..只是总是提不起勇气和面子，常跟自己说 it's not the right time. 听说只有在叙述时不会伤心，才算走过了。。如果是真的，那我肯定安全..如果不是，我也相信自己已经走过了. hmm..也不完全说得上是伤心..如果硬要说有什么要对你表达的，也可能是基于女人小气的本性而产生的一点点生气和不甘吧. 不管怎样，我总是在寻找我心中由你而引起的心理不平衡的原因..而最近，我终于有点突破了. 我觉得，你还欠我一句道歉吧? 虽然我在想通后才发现你当初说过的谎言其实是为大家好,但现在也总该交待一下,不是吗? 我知道你那虚构的希望也是逼于无奈, 但那时失去理智的我, 怎么说也很认真地相信和记得那些话..认真到现在还在耿耿于怀. oh well..我已经不是以前的我了..我知道这个画面永远也不会实现..所以我也会跟着这个entry的完成慢慢释怀. 所以说..千万不要得罪女人哦..很麻烦的~

她篇
hmm..说起来..你跟我的事也不算过去很久, 而且我到现在还搞不清楚状况. 我们之间真的没事了吗?? 我真的很惊讶..因为我不了解怎么会有这么突如其来的冷战和结战. 我们是不是已经到了任何一种关系的另一端: indifference? 朋友的 msn nick 曾经是 "the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference." 我想, 友情也一样吧. 虽然最后有知道冷战开始的原因, 但不知道是不是性格太差异..我很难接受那个理由. 有人跟我提议过另一个可能性, 虽然很劲爆, 但也总算让我对事情有了新的看法. 说我天真也好, 说我不会观察面色也好, 说我是个木头也好..我还是希望事情能有个清楚的解释..don't leave things hanging by a thread..

should i publish this? >.<

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY BAOBEI AND 5TH MONTH BAOBAM!! MUACKS!!

ラベル: innermost feeling